*answers on the second ring* Faeroune Funerary, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em. What’s up?
I – wait, ‘Funerary’? Nevermind… Mia, I have some very serious concerns that I need to talk to you about. I’m working over nearby Sleepy Peak Peak studying the volcano, and there’s a Summer Camp nearby. It’s Angela’s summer camp.
It’s called a joke, dear. You should try it some time~ I know where Angie’s summer camp is, it’s one of the reasons I picked it. What’s going on, do I need to feed someone else to the dragons?
Feed – wha? I – maybe?? I don’t – *he’s freaking out a
little bit, so he stops to take a few deep breaths* Mia, this place is shady as
hell and children have been exposed to things they shouldn’t have. Max was
telling me what happened at Spooky Island last night…Spooky Island? Did that ghost kid turn evil or something? What’s going on that Angie hasn’t written home about? *actually sounds concerned now, all traces of teasing gone from her voice*
Oh, there’s a ghost there too, now? *he pauses and takes
another deep breath* Okay… Um, one of the kids – Max – told me how he and a
couple of his friends went to Spooky Island. He said they saw the Quartermaster
at some kind of… orgy? And Max was very clearly traumatized by it. Also, he
told me that a couple of the parents had had a coupling in front of all the
kids on Parent’s Day. I don’t think Angela was at the camp yet, but… I’m very concerned, Mia!
The Perfect Scientist 