Carlos wasn’t really sure if Hancock was being wholly
truthful, with regards to how other people reacted. You can’t just… not care about that sort of thing,
right? And he was so anxious and frightened, worried that Carlos might do the
same thing, that it made Carlos believe that other people’s reactions affected
him. At least a bit.
But Carlos had to be honest. He didn’t want to be – GOD! He wished he could just ignore it
right off the bat and pretend he wasn’t weirded out by this – but he cared too
much about Hancock to try to keep him uninformed about what was really going on
in his own head.
“Hancock… I care about you a lot,” he said softly. “And I
don’t want this to get between us.” He took a deep breath – but he tried to keep
it short so Hancock didn’t have too much time to fret. “This’ll take me a bit
to get used to,” he admitted slowly. “I’m so sorry about that – I mean, I want
to be okay with this right away, but… it’s… tough. I just… I just need to
remind myself that you’re not in pain or… anything. It’s not your fault at all –
I’m going to do my damnest to get over thi- I mean, over myself. O- okay? I’m – I’m so sorry if that’s not what you want to
hear, b-but I wanna be honest and I don’t wanna make you feel bad or anything
and it’s not your fault and I’m sorry I’m just having trouble with this and –
and- shit – fuck, I should stop
talking, I’m so sorry!”
Carlos wasn’t sure what happened at the end. Something in
his emotions just… lurched and he started to babble and he couldn’t stop it and…
God damn, he hoped Hancock wasn’t getting anxious from him.
The Perfect Scientist 