tumblr posts sentence starters

dovingmemes:

^{sentences and such gathered from tumblr posts i saw while scrolling through my dash. change around as you see fit.}

• ^{‘ what are they saying? ‘}
• ^{‘ i’m trying reading ______’s lips but there’s too much gloss in the way! ‘}
  
• ^{‘ you look good today , pro homo. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ i really wish everyone had good hearts and good intentions for others. honestly. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ the risk i took was calculated , but man , am i bad at math. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ just so you know there’s like ,  lot of dogs in here. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ the sun watches what i do , but the moon knows all my secrets. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ maybe it’s maybelline. maybe it’s goblin magic. those are the only two options. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ i don’t want to go. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ i’ve got like 2 friends , maybe 2.5. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ when you sleep with a tank top and you wake up with ya titty out. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ god, i dumped the mouthwash in the cap and then when i went to put it in my mouth , my body was like ‘ you’re doing a shot ‘ and i just let the mouthwash slide down my throat. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ the three stages of life: birth , what the fuck is this , death. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ i don’t need a fresh start. i need a fresh donut. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ i fell in love with him / her / them like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ why are fire extinguishers in glass cases that you need to smash? it’s like , you know what this fire needs? more danger. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ if you are lonely , dim the lights and put on a horror-movie. after a while , it won’t fell like you are alone anymore. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ i’m pretty sure if hamsters could talk , they’d have british accents. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ suck my dick in the rain. ‘}
  
• ^{‘ what if birds aren’t singing and they’re screaming because they’re afraid of heights. ‘}