“Yeah? So what if I don’t have people for the holidays? What the hell does it matter to you?”
“I come in for one glass of wine and then leave.”
“I see. Well, that’s okay, some people just aren’t party people. What do you do during the holidays, when other businesses are usually taking time off? I’m pretty sure even villains – not you, but the clientele – often take it easy.”
“Yeah? So what if I don’t have people for the holidays? What the hell does it matter to you?”
Carlos frowned at him. “Well, since you ask, I feel bad knowing that someone I know is going to be alone this holiday season. Are Flug, Dementia, and Fives not sticking around? Or the hatbots even?” Maybe the ‘bots would be too busy working, but the others… did they even have families?
“I do not consider them my family, what they do matters not to me.”
“Well, I’m not saying they’re family. Friends, at least. Coworkers. Even a work-party with them might be nice, do you think?”
“They do have a party for themselves. I just don’t join.”
“Yeah? So what if I don’t have people for the holidays? What the hell does it matter to you?”
Carlos frowned at him. “Well, since you ask, I feel bad knowing that someone I know is going to be alone this holiday season. Are Flug, Dementia, and Fives not sticking around? Or the hatbots even?” Maybe the ‘bots would be too busy working, but the others… did they even have families?
“I do not consider them my family, what they do matters not to me.”
“Well, I’m not saying they’re family. Friends, at least. Coworkers. Even a work-party with them might be nice, do you think?”
“Yeah? So what if I don’t have people for the holidays? What the hell does it matter to you?”
Carlos frowned at him. “Well, since you ask, I feel bad knowing that someone I know is going to be alone this holiday season. Are Flug, Dementia, and Fives not sticking around? Or the hatbots even?” Maybe the ‘bots would be too busy working, but the others… did they even have families?
Carlos was practically living in Hatsville now. His drive to learn was as strong as ever, and there was always something for him to study. Strange energies, fragments of old experimental devices, the occasional escaped test subject… Carlos studied all he could. Except the one thing that remained out of his reach: Manor #333, on Hat Avenue – Black Hat’s manor.
The manor was the source of a dark energy reading that Carlos really, really wanted to study, but he had not yet had the chance. And it wasn’t just the energy that intrigued Carlos, but the very scientific-sounding explosions and loud noises that sometimes could be heard across the island.
One such incident occurred while Carlos was conducting an interview with what appeared to be a very, very, very small person claiming to have been trapped for months in a shrunken plane. The only warning that Carlos got was the sudden clicking that sounded when his Danger Meter spiked, and then the whole island was rocked with a loud FWOOM!
Carlos’ interview had fled and he was left wondering what happened at the manor. So Carlos packed up a few choice instruments and went outside of his motel to investigate.
“Im… not sure you understood me correctly. But seriously, unless you want to die a very very painful death, I suggest you stay away.” Flug sighed and turned to walk away. “There are others like him less dangerous.”
Carlos frowned. “I’ve faced death before. It’s all part of science and the pursuit of knowledge. I thought you might understand that too.” He watched Flug as he started off toward the mansion. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about what happened to your robot. I’m glad it wasn’t worse.”
“I can’t die. So I wouldn’t know. Besides,” Flug stopped and glanced back at Carlos, his goggles seeming to glow. “Only the best villains get the honor of working with him.” Then he left without another word.
Yeesh… like doctor like boss, it seemed. Maybe he thought Carlos was after his job? That would make sense… but of course Carlos wasn’t after it at all. He just had questions that he wanted answered.
He sighed and turned to head back to his car. Back to work, he supposed. He should probably rig up an EMP device as a precaution. Nothing damaging, just enough to shut down any robots that came after him again.
Later that day, Black Hat went on his usual evening walk. His cane clacked softly on the pavement as he walked along the silent street. Ah this was peaceful.
Carlos worked out of the back of his car, shaded by the raised back door as he put together the EMP device. It would be forward-shooting, to prevent hurting his own instruments or anything else that he didn’t want to stop. It looked like a megaphone, but was totally not a megaphone.
His attention was drawn when his danger meter started ticking, and so he looked up to see Black Hat walking. He smiled and waved. “Good afternoon!”
Black Hat stopped and scowled. “You’re still here?” He snarled, slowly walking closer to the very annoying human.
Carlos nodded. “Yes. I still have some work to do.” He looked down at the EMP device. “I met your scientist, Dr Flug – very interesting guy.”
“Im… not sure you understood me correctly. But seriously, unless you want to die a very very painful death, I suggest you stay away.” Flug sighed and turned to walk away. “There are others like him less dangerous.”
Carlos frowned. “I’ve faced death before. It’s all part of science and the pursuit of knowledge. I thought you might understand that too.” He watched Flug as he started off toward the mansion. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about what happened to your robot. I’m glad it wasn’t worse.”
“I can’t die. So I wouldn’t know. Besides,” Flug stopped and glanced back at Carlos, his goggles seeming to glow. “Only the best villains get the honor of working with him.” Then he left without another word.
Yeesh… like doctor like boss, it seemed. Maybe he thought Carlos was after his job? That would make sense… but of course Carlos wasn’t after it at all. He just had questions that he wanted answered.
He sighed and turned to head back to his car. Back to work, he supposed. He should probably rig up an EMP device as a precaution. Nothing damaging, just enough to shut down any robots that came after him again.
Later that day, Black Hat went on his usual evening walk. His cane clacked softly on the pavement as he walked along the silent street. Ah this was peaceful.
Carlos worked out of the back of his car, shaded by the raised back door as he put together the EMP device. It would be forward-shooting, to prevent hurting his own instruments or anything else that he didn’t want to stop. It looked like a megaphone, but was totally not a megaphone.
His attention was drawn when his danger meter started ticking, and so he looked up to see Black Hat walking. He smiled and waved. “Good afternoon!”
“Im… not sure you understood me correctly. But seriously, unless you want to die a very very painful death, I suggest you stay away.” Flug sighed and turned to walk away. “There are others like him less dangerous.”
Carlos frowned. “I’ve faced death before. It’s all part of science and the pursuit of knowledge. I thought you might understand that too.” He watched Flug as he started off toward the mansion. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about what happened to your robot. I’m glad it wasn’t worse.”
“I can’t die. So I wouldn’t know. Besides,” Flug stopped and glanced back at Carlos, his goggles seeming to glow. “Only the best villains get the honor of working with him.” Then he left without another word.
Yeesh… like doctor like boss, it seemed. Maybe he thought Carlos was after his job? That would make sense… but of course Carlos wasn’t after it at all. He just had questions that he wanted answered.
He sighed and turned to head back to his car. Back to work, he supposed. He should probably rig up an EMP device as a precaution. Nothing damaging, just enough to shut down any robots that came after him again.
“Im… not sure you understood me correctly. But seriously, unless you want to die a very very painful death, I suggest you stay away.” Flug sighed and turned to walk away. “There are others like him less dangerous.”
Carlos frowned. “I’ve faced death before. It’s all part of science and the pursuit of knowledge. I thought you might understand that too.” He watched Flug as he started off toward the mansion. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about what happened to your robot. I’m glad it wasn’t worse.”
Hatbot
fell silent, contacting Gamma, who was currently with Flug. A few
minutes later, the bagged scientist rushed out of the manor. “My baby-!”
Carlos immediately sat up and away so that this scientist wouldn’t shove him away. Wait, was that a bag on his head?
Well, Carlos had seen weirder.
“I used a paradox on it and it fell over,” Carlos explained quickly. “I tried to reboot, but I think something fell loose in the fall.”
“Wait- who are you?” Flug asked slowly, looking at the other suspiciously as he approached his robot. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m a scientist,” Carlos responded. He reached up to offer the other man his hand to shake. “Carlos Ramon. I came here following a strange signal on my supernatural reader.”
“That’s… probably jefe.” Flug slowly shook his hand before beginning to repair the hatbot. “He’s the only supernatural thing in this area.” Okay, well, that wasn’t… TOTALLY true but he wasn’t about to spill secrets to a stranger.
Carlos nodded. “I’d gathered as much. By the way, my danger meter’s been unusually high since I set foot on this island.” He scooted over to give the other scientist more room.
“Yeah. That’s… that’s him.” Flug muttered, staring into the hatbot’s circuits until he found the problem. In a few minutes, the robot was back on its feet and going back inside with the smaller hatbot.
Carlos was surprised that the giant robot was up so quickly, but was relieved when it didn’t seem to be interested in him anymore. “Glad that was an easy fix,” he murmured. He then stood up. “By the way, um… Doctor? I didn’t get your name.”
“Dr. Flug Slys.” He replied, straightening up and adjusting his yellow cloves. “You should get out of here. Before Black Ht desides to have you for dinner.”
Carlos frowned. “Well, I’m not hungry for anything except knowledge. I want to know more about that energy reading. It’s pretty similar to the stuff back home, and I’m hoping this could open up some doors to learning about what’s happening in Night Vale, where I live.”
The Perfect Scientist 