*laying face down in the dirt* yeah, why do you ask?
*frowns, but kneels down and pats his shoulder* You’re in the dirt, buddy. Come on… get up.
i don’t really wanna.. *he mumbles, shifting so he can at least see Carlos*
A bed will be much more comfortable, and cleaner, I promise. *he smiles at Max when the kid looks at him*
You got it this time?
Yeah, I got it. You’re spotting me still, right Max?
Yep.
Okay – thanks, buddy. I’m gonna go for the same spot as before… *Carlos gets close to the fire pit and, much slower this time, he starts to lower the pot back to the ground*
Alright. *the pondscum slid off the stick he was holding, resulting in Max silently swearing*
*Carlos glanced at him, confused.* You okay, buddy?
Yep, totally, all good. *he doesn’t sound too sure but it’s just pondscum it’s fine*
*Carlos hums and finally gets the pot on the ground* There we go! Second time’s the charm!
which house hold chemiculs are the most deadly?
All of them? None of them? Whichever answer will make you not touch the household chemicals!
What are you doing, Max…?
losing what control i had in shyt-hole i call a life-
Max, is this about you being grounded?
no.. kinda,… i dunno!
Max… I’m sorry about this. I hate grounding you. But I wanted to keep you safe, Max, and teach you to be more responsible for your actions.
*he looks at the ground, mumbling* i know but it still fucking sucks..
I know Max… I’m really sorry.But I’m not letting you touch any household chemicals, especially not over this.
but i’m so borrred, i need something to do!
Then read a book. Or write something. Or, I dunno… I can do science experiment with you, perhaps?
Jon won’t let me near books anymore and i don’t know what to write about, but science stuff sounds fun
Why won’t Jon let you have books? *he’s very confused*
those are three long storys.. two of which you probably wouldn’t even believe if i told you
Boy, I’m from Night Vale. I might believe them. *he smiles a little*
*he chuckles slightly* they’re still pretty long..
Maybe tell me one while we do science. *smiles* Hey, do you want Angie to do science with us? She loves science experiments.
*he nods and bsmiles sloightly* alright i guess i could… wait, who’s Angie?
*Blinks* My daughter. You met her… no, wait… you were just a baby then, weren’t you?
*more confused* you have a daughter? i.. guess i was pretty young then..
It wasn’t very long ago, actually. Like, maybe a couple weeks ago. You… I guess you were under a grey-face curse.
i guess so.. well, i’d love to remeet her then *he chuckles*
Sure! I think you’ll like her. C’mon – lets look around the camp and find her!
*he smiles and nods* alright, do you know where she likes to hang out?
Mm… probably at the science table. Let’s see if she’s there.
*laying face down in the dirt* yeah, why do you ask?
*frowns, but kneels down and pats his shoulder* You’re in the dirt, buddy. Come on… get up.
Nods.
“They killed a buddy of mine…. virtually dissected him infront of me…
killing him while he screamed then died after removing a few of his
organs…..I would have been next but I was able to escape when they had
some power malfunction…”Edwardo looked at him, frowning sympathetically. “You have said,” he responded with a careful and calm tone. “I am truly sorry that has happened to you… I can’t even imagine that.”
“But I’ve found terrans who…. are really good people. You and your sons….. I’d like to call you a part of my family.”
Edwardo was a bit surprised by Yondu’s statement. He smiled and gave a soft chuckle. “That’s… I think that’s alright, Yondu. You’ve been good to me and my boys – especially Carlos. He seems to like you and trust you well enough. I think we’d be honored for you to consider us ‘family’. Friendship knows no distance, I believe.”
Yondu nods to him and smiles. “Aside from peter and kraglin and three others on my crew Oblo, Tullk and halfnut.. I don’t have anyone else. So this is nice.”
Mr Ramon nodded. “Right,” he agreed with a smile. “Want to help me start lunch? You can tell me more about what Carlos and you all have been up to.”
“Sure! I’ll even split this bag of the best snack in space. Carlos loves them too. Beastie worms!” Pulls out a a bag that looks suspiciously like a alien version of a Cheetoes bag.
Edwardo just looked at it. “What… what is it exactly?” he asked. “I heard you boys trying to explain it, but I don’t know if I understand…”
Grins and leads him to the kitchen. “Best thing ever. Just… don’t think about what your eating. Just eat it.” Opens the bag and pulls out a wiggling orange worm like thing.
Edwardo stared.”Carlos has been eating those?” he asked. “I’m surprised – usually he’s not very adventurous when trying new things.” He reached out and took the worm, examining it curiously.
The worm was wiggling around and actually tries to crawl around on his fingers leaving orange dust in its wake.
“Well in space he had to adapt. No terran like food out there really. I had to honestly convince him to eat one. Then he liked them. So we would pass a bag around at times.”
Edwardo hummed and nodded. He closed his hand around the worm to keep it from escaping. “You know, it’s arguable that it’s cruel to let them remain alive as you eat them. How do they stay alive in the package anyhow?”
“I honestly have no clue….. all I know is they are fresh and delicious.” Pulls one out then knocks it back with a crunch then swallows. “Carlos wanted to keepnsome as pets…. be interesting…. harvest them as unlimited source of beastie worms. Snacks forever.”
Edwardo looked at the trail of seasoning the worm left. “In theory… but you’d have to find out the recipe for the seasoning.” He smiled slightly. He sniffed at the seasoning with a hum. “It smells cheesy.” He opened his hand again and, with the other hand, picked up the worm between two fingers. “It’s sort of cute… I can see why Little Carlos wanted to try keeping one.”
Yondu chuckles. “Cute and delicious. Carlos at first thought it was cruel to eat them alive too but… if you kill them or dry them or something other then fresh they taste nasty….”
“Hm… maybe there’s a decomposition process that happens when they die.” He then smiled at Yondu again. “This wouldn’t be my first rodeo, eating a live animal. I’ve had the opportunity to have live octopus before.”
“Live oconopooos? What the hell is that?” Sets the bag down so the worms couldn’t wiggle out as Eduardo played with his food. “Hope the boys have fun.”
Peter watches as buildings go by in the car. “Been so long since being here….. it’s so strange….. almost like I don’t belong here.”
“Oh… um… it has a soft, round bulbous main body, and has eight tentacles that come out of the bottom of it like a skirt. It lives in the water. It’s really good with some spicy sauce, though you have to chew quite a bit to make sure to get it down safely.” Edwardo looked at the worm again. “I’m sure the boys are fine… It’s just a trip to the supermarket, after all.”
–
“I can’t believe I still remember how to drive,” Carlos said. “It just feels like it’s been so long… And I have to pay so much attention to the road.”
“You’re going the speed limit, so I think you’re fine,” Mikey reassured his brother with a grin.
Yondu blinks at the Discription. “Huh….. we have something like that. Don’t eat it though. Not unless you like the idea of melting from the inside out. Anyway. So what are we having for lunch? And you gonna eat the worm or keep it for a pet? Hehe.”
–
Nice they pull up peter couldn’t stop looking around and wandering off a bit curious about the daily lives of his species.
Mr Ramon looked at Yondu, and then grinned. He quickly popped it into his mouth and crunched down on it. There was a burst of flavor and he let out a pleasantly surprised hum. “Hm! Hmm!”
–
Kraglin kept close to Carlos and his brother. Yeah, he was curious too – looking around at everything. Watchers, it was all so…. alien. These people came in so many different shapes and sizes, it could probably rival the variety of Knowhere.
He watched Peter trying to wander and let out a low growl. “’Ey, Pete! Don’t get lost, you little shit!” A woman glanced at him in confusion and Kraglin just huffed at her. What did he care that she couldn’t understand him?
Yondu grins at him. “Exactly.” Hands him a few more.
—
Peter jumps and comes back falling in line next to him. “Sorry…… just…. there’s a lot here and……..” looks down and around at all the people just like him.”
Edwardo accepted a few more of the treats. But he doesn’t stuff all of them in his mouth – he just picked one up and closed his hand around the rest. “These are very good. They taste just like junk food here – how easy is it to get these in space? I mean, what’s the price?”
–
Carlos turned his head, using his hand to turn part of his hoodie too to look at Peter. “Hey, Peter, do we need you to hold onto the cart?” he joked. But really, who was Carlos to talk? He couldn’t stop looking around, even though it might give other people an easier chance to recognize him. He just… he couldn’t believe how much he missed the supermarket, of all places.
“Ehhh beastie worms are about 200 credits a bag…. 400 credits a can…. so yeah……. credits so that’s uhhhhh 2 or 4 of your coin…..I guess…”
—
Peter Ducks his head. “No… no im good…. sorry…..” looks around again then blinks spotting a lady with reddish blond hair and his eyes go wide. “Momma….”
“Huh – so very easy to get, like some of our junkfood here. What sort of species eats them?”
–
Kraglin glanced over at Peter and frowned. He went over to grab his jacket and pull him along. “C’mon, Pete…”
You got it this time?
Yeah, I got it. You’re spotting me still, right Max?
Yep.
Okay – thanks, buddy. I’m gonna go for the same spot as before… *Carlos gets close to the fire pit and, much slower this time, he starts to lower the pot back to the ground*
Alright. *the pondscum slid off the stick he was holding, resulting in Max silently swearing*
*Carlos glanced at him, confused.* You okay, buddy?
which house hold chemiculs are the most deadly?
All of them? None of them? Whichever answer will make you not touch the household chemicals!
What are you doing, Max…?
losing what control i had in shyt-hole i call a life-
Max, is this about you being grounded?
no.. kinda,… i dunno!
Max… I’m sorry about this. I hate grounding you. But I wanted to keep you safe, Max, and teach you to be more responsible for your actions.
*he looks at the ground, mumbling* i know but it still fucking sucks..
I know Max… I’m really sorry.But I’m not letting you touch any household chemicals, especially not over this.
but i’m so borrred, i need something to do!
Then read a book. Or write something. Or, I dunno… I can do science experiment with you, perhaps?
Jon won’t let me near books anymore and i don’t know what to write about, but science stuff sounds fun
Why won’t Jon let you have books? *he’s very confused*
those are three long storys.. two of which you probably wouldn’t even believe if i told you
Boy, I’m from Night Vale. I might believe them. *he smiles a little*
*he chuckles slightly* they’re still pretty long..
Maybe tell me one while we do science. *smiles* Hey, do you want Angie to do science with us? She loves science experiments.
*he nods and bsmiles sloightly* alright i guess i could… wait, who’s Angie?
*Blinks* My daughter. You met her… no, wait… you were just a baby then, weren’t you?
*more confused* you have a daughter? i.. guess i was pretty young then..
It wasn’t very long ago, actually. Like, maybe a couple weeks ago. You… I guess you were under a grey-face curse.
i guess so.. well, i’d love to remeet her then *he chuckles*
Sure! I think you’ll like her. C’mon – lets look around the camp and find her!
“Uh? Oh, um… thank you….Wait, Max? Is that you?”
“…” His face turned light pink. “I… I really like him….”
Carlos folded his arms. “You like him… but you want to risk getting him in trouble?”
“N-no! I’d never…” He sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. “I just wanted him to be happy… he always talks about how much he’d want to rob a store and… how he wanted a new car…” Pure slightly bit his lip. “I just wanted him to be happy…. I never thought we’d actually go that far….”
“That’s what he told me as well,” Carlos said to him. “That he just wanted to please you, and he didn’t think it’d go that far. Am I to really assume that things just… developed that way on their own?”
He nodded. “Everything just… happened..!” He sighed. “As soon as we were in the car is just.. everything just happened…”
“So the car lured you in like a siren song and just drove you to the stores? Gave you masks and weapons?” The sarcasm was dripping in Carlos’ voice, but he wanted the kid to understand that he had to actually own up to what they did.
“No! Oh heavens no!” He yelled. “I-i just… everything just…” He teared up, nervously walking around. “I didn’t want it to happen! I-i’m usually a nice kid, I swear! I just…” He sobbed and whimpered quietly. “I dont know why I did it! I feel so bad, I’m sorry!”
“I know you’re sorry, Ma-… uh, Pure. But I’m not sure if it’s because someone’s holding you accountable or if it’s actually genuine.” Carlos sighed. “I don’t want to be mad at you. But you and Max got into a lot of trouble, so it’s hard not to be.”
“I-i know we got into trouble… h-hell… I stabbed someone! I could’ve gotten us hurt… or even killed..!” He dried his eyes. “I’m sorry for putting Max in danger, Mr Ramon…” He kept his head down, too scared to look at Carlos. “I just… I wanted him to be happy, to have fun…”
“There are other ways to have fun,” Carlos told him. “You guys could have gone to Chuck E. Cheese’s and it would have been less harmful.” He frowned at the kid, feeling very uncomfortable. He looked exactly like Max… but he wasn’t that Max. They weren’t the same. It just… he looked like him! Carlos was having a bit of trouble trying to remain stern with him.
But he could be at least a little chivalrous…
Carlos pulled out a pack of tissues from his pocket and offered one to Pure. “Here.”
“…” Pure looked at the pack of tissues, then back at Carlos. “Thank you…” He rubbed his reddened eyes, accepting the tissues.
“B-but.. wha- uhm, w-what’s “Chuck E. Cheese”?“ He slightly tilted his head in confusion.
Carlos blinked at him. “It’s… it’s a play-place for kids,” he said. “Um… like a pizza parlor and an arcade center. Though,it’s also germ-ridden… which is why I said it would have been… you know what, nevermind. You probably didn’t get the joke anyway.”
“H-huh…” He cracked a smile. “It… really does sound fun…” He frowned, sighing softly. “I… really did fuck up… I put both of us in danger…” Pure, once again, ran a hand through his hair. “I’m… sorry, Mr Ramon. I really am. I wasn’t thinking and thus could’ve gotten Max and me hurt or worse killed.”
Carlos frowned slightly. “I hope that this teaches you and Max to think about your actions.” He sighes. “Right now… Max is grounded. He can’t see you for a little bit, considering what the two of you had gotten up to together.”
Pure nodded. “Alright, Mr Ramon, I… I wont see Max for a while..” He sighed with a small smile.
Carlos nodded. “Okay.” He then considered the boy for a moment. “Initially, I was going to have Max not see you ever again. But… I don’t know, now that I’ve met you. I’m wondering… if you can show me that you can be better… then I’ll let Max hang out with you again. I’ll have a talk with Max too – letting him know that you two can’t be conspiring to commit crimes anymore if you’re going to be together in one place.”
“O-oh..” His smile faded as he lowered his head slightly, processing what Carlos had said. “I- ….” He thought for a moment. “I can be better!” Pure forced a little smile. “I-i promise!”
Carlos’ lips pressed together slightly. But he nodded to the boy. “Okay,” he said. “You show us that you can do better, okay? Max is going to show me that he can, too.”
“Uh? Oh, um… thank you….Wait, Max? Is that you?”
“…” His face turned light pink. “I… I really like him….”
Carlos folded his arms. “You like him… but you want to risk getting him in trouble?”
“N-no! I’d never…” He sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. “I just wanted him to be happy… he always talks about how much he’d want to rob a store and… how he wanted a new car…” Pure slightly bit his lip. “I just wanted him to be happy…. I never thought we’d actually go that far….”
“That’s what he told me as well,” Carlos said to him. “That he just wanted to please you, and he didn’t think it’d go that far. Am I to really assume that things just… developed that way on their own?”
He nodded. “Everything just… happened..!” He sighed. “As soon as we were in the car is just.. everything just happened…”
“So the car lured you in like a siren song and just drove you to the stores? Gave you masks and weapons?” The sarcasm was dripping in Carlos’ voice, but he wanted the kid to understand that he had to actually own up to what they did.
“No! Oh heavens no!” He yelled. “I-i just… everything just…” He teared up, nervously walking around. “I didn’t want it to happen! I-i’m usually a nice kid, I swear! I just…” He sobbed and whimpered quietly. “I dont know why I did it! I feel so bad, I’m sorry!”
“I know you’re sorry, Ma-… uh, Pure. But I’m not sure if it’s because someone’s holding you accountable or if it’s actually genuine.” Carlos sighed. “I don’t want to be mad at you. But you and Max got into a lot of trouble, so it’s hard not to be.”
“I-i know we got into trouble… h-hell… I stabbed someone! I could’ve gotten us hurt… or even killed..!” He dried his eyes. “I’m sorry for putting Max in danger, Mr Ramon…” He kept his head down, too scared to look at Carlos. “I just… I wanted him to be happy, to have fun…”
“There are other ways to have fun,” Carlos told him. “You guys could have gone to Chuck E. Cheese’s and it would have been less harmful.” He frowned at the kid, feeling very uncomfortable. He looked exactly like Max… but he wasn’t that Max. They weren’t the same. It just… he looked like him! Carlos was having a bit of trouble trying to remain stern with him.
But he could be at least a little chivalrous…
Carlos pulled out a pack of tissues from his pocket and offered one to Pure. “Here.”
“…” Pure looked at the pack of tissues, then back at Carlos. “Thank you…” He rubbed his reddened eyes, accepting the tissues.
“B-but.. wha- uhm, w-what’s “Chuck E. Cheese”?“ He slightly tilted his head in confusion.
Carlos blinked at him. “It’s… it’s a play-place for kids,” he said. “Um… like a pizza parlor and an arcade center. Though,it’s also germ-ridden… which is why I said it would have been… you know what, nevermind. You probably didn’t get the joke anyway.”
“H-huh…” He cracked a smile. “It… really does sound fun…” He frowned, sighing softly. “I… really did fuck up… I put both of us in danger…” Pure, once again, ran a hand through his hair. “I’m… sorry, Mr Ramon. I really am. I wasn’t thinking and thus could’ve gotten Max and me hurt or worse killed.”
Carlos frowned slightly. “I hope that this teaches you and Max to think about your actions.” He sighes. “Right now… Max is grounded. He can’t see you for a little bit, considering what the two of you had gotten up to together.”
Pure nodded. “Alright, Mr Ramon, I… I wont see Max for a while..” He sighed with a small smile.
Carlos nodded. “Okay.” He then considered the boy for a moment. “Initially, I was going to have Max not see you ever again. But… I don’t know, now that I’ve met you. I’m wondering… if you can show me that you can be better… then I’ll let Max hang out with you again. I’ll have a talk with Max too – letting him know that you two can’t be conspiring to commit crimes anymore if you’re going to be together in one place.”
Nods.
“They killed a buddy of mine…. virtually dissected him infront of me…
killing him while he screamed then died after removing a few of his
organs…..I would have been next but I was able to escape when they had
some power malfunction…”Edwardo looked at him, frowning sympathetically. “You have said,” he responded with a careful and calm tone. “I am truly sorry that has happened to you… I can’t even imagine that.”
“But I’ve found terrans who…. are really good people. You and your sons….. I’d like to call you a part of my family.”
Edwardo was a bit surprised by Yondu’s statement. He smiled and gave a soft chuckle. “That’s… I think that’s alright, Yondu. You’ve been good to me and my boys – especially Carlos. He seems to like you and trust you well enough. I think we’d be honored for you to consider us ‘family’. Friendship knows no distance, I believe.”
Yondu nods to him and smiles. “Aside from peter and kraglin and three others on my crew Oblo, Tullk and halfnut.. I don’t have anyone else. So this is nice.”
Mr Ramon nodded. “Right,” he agreed with a smile. “Want to help me start lunch? You can tell me more about what Carlos and you all have been up to.”
“Sure! I’ll even split this bag of the best snack in space. Carlos loves them too. Beastie worms!” Pulls out a a bag that looks suspiciously like a alien version of a Cheetoes bag.
Edwardo just looked at it. “What… what is it exactly?” he asked. “I heard you boys trying to explain it, but I don’t know if I understand…”
Grins and leads him to the kitchen. “Best thing ever. Just… don’t think about what your eating. Just eat it.” Opens the bag and pulls out a wiggling orange worm like thing.
Edwardo stared.”Carlos has been eating those?” he asked. “I’m surprised – usually he’s not very adventurous when trying new things.” He reached out and took the worm, examining it curiously.
The worm was wiggling around and actually tries to crawl around on his fingers leaving orange dust in its wake.
“Well in space he had to adapt. No terran like food out there really. I had to honestly convince him to eat one. Then he liked them. So we would pass a bag around at times.”
Edwardo hummed and nodded. He closed his hand around the worm to keep it from escaping. “You know, it’s arguable that it’s cruel to let them remain alive as you eat them. How do they stay alive in the package anyhow?”
“I honestly have no clue….. all I know is they are fresh and delicious.” Pulls one out then knocks it back with a crunch then swallows. “Carlos wanted to keepnsome as pets…. be interesting…. harvest them as unlimited source of beastie worms. Snacks forever.”
Edwardo looked at the trail of seasoning the worm left. “In theory… but you’d have to find out the recipe for the seasoning.” He smiled slightly. He sniffed at the seasoning with a hum. “It smells cheesy.” He opened his hand again and, with the other hand, picked up the worm between two fingers. “It’s sort of cute… I can see why Little Carlos wanted to try keeping one.”
Yondu chuckles. “Cute and delicious. Carlos at first thought it was cruel to eat them alive too but… if you kill them or dry them or something other then fresh they taste nasty….”
“Hm… maybe there’s a decomposition process that happens when they die.” He then smiled at Yondu again. “This wouldn’t be my first rodeo, eating a live animal. I’ve had the opportunity to have live octopus before.”
“Live oconopooos? What the hell is that?” Sets the bag down so the worms couldn’t wiggle out as Eduardo played with his food. “Hope the boys have fun.”
Peter watches as buildings go by in the car. “Been so long since being here….. it’s so strange….. almost like I don’t belong here.”
“Oh… um… it has a soft, round bulbous main body, and has eight tentacles that come out of the bottom of it like a skirt. It lives in the water. It’s really good with some spicy sauce, though you have to chew quite a bit to make sure to get it down safely.” Edwardo looked at the worm again. “I’m sure the boys are fine… It’s just a trip to the supermarket, after all.”
–
“I can’t believe I still remember how to drive,” Carlos said. “It just feels like it’s been so long… And I have to pay so much attention to the road.”
“You’re going the speed limit, so I think you’re fine,” Mikey reassured his brother with a grin.
Yondu blinks at the Discription. “Huh….. we have something like that. Don’t eat it though. Not unless you like the idea of melting from the inside out. Anyway. So what are we having for lunch? And you gonna eat the worm or keep it for a pet? Hehe.”
–
Nice they pull up peter couldn’t stop looking around and wandering off a bit curious about the daily lives of his species.
Mr Ramon looked at Yondu, and then grinned. He quickly popped it into his mouth and crunched down on it. There was a burst of flavor and he let out a pleasantly surprised hum. “Hm! Hmm!”
–
Kraglin kept close to Carlos and his brother. Yeah, he was curious too – looking around at everything. Watchers, it was all so…. alien. These people came in so many different shapes and sizes, it could probably rival the variety of Knowhere.
He watched Peter trying to wander and let out a low growl. “’Ey, Pete! Don’t get lost, you little shit!” A woman glanced at him in confusion and Kraglin just huffed at her. What did he care that she couldn’t understand him?
Yondu grins at him. “Exactly.” Hands him a few more.
—
Peter jumps and comes back falling in line next to him. “Sorry…… just…. there’s a lot here and……..” looks down and around at all the people just like him.”
Edwardo accepted a few more of the treats. But he doesn’t stuff all of them in his mouth – he just picked one up and closed his hand around the rest. “These are very good. They taste just like junk food here – how easy is it to get these in space? I mean, what’s the price?”
–
Carlos turned his head, using his hand to turn part of his hoodie too to look at Peter. “Hey, Peter, do we need you to hold onto the cart?” he joked. But really, who was Carlos to talk? He couldn’t stop looking around, even though it might give other people an easier chance to recognize him. He just… he couldn’t believe how much he missed the supermarket, of all places.
The Perfect Scientist 