Tag: //drug abuse

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist‌:

Carlos watched Hancock take the Addictol. He took it like he was huffing Jet. Did he already forget what it was that Carlos got him? He reached to take the inhaler and ensure that it was empty when Hancock had looked at him.

Carlos felt a pang of guilt in his chest. Hancock was like this because of him. Obviously. This had Carlos wondering, again, if they should stay together in the long-term if he was going to just be a source of pain for Hancock.

But he really couldn’t make that decision now.

“I… I’ll stay with you, Han,” Carlos said. He took Hancock’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m going to help you feel better. I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

It wasn’t Carlos so much as Hancock’s own damage that had caused this. The scientist’s initial reaction to things had been reasonable but the ghoul tended to be oversensitive about certain things, particularly when it came to what his boyfriend thought about his….. anatomy. It was a difficult situation for Carlos to win in the first place.

“Thank you.” The ghoul croaked, eyes beginning to water again. He pulled Carlos in, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling himself up to hug the other man clumsily.

“‘M sorry….” Hancock breathed, a slight whimper in his voice. “I’m sorry I fucked up, I won’t do it again…..”

Carlos was a little slow to return the hug, but he did when he feared
that Hancock might lose his grip and fall somehow. Also, Hancock looked
so incredibly vulnerable… Carlos’ heart was hurting just from seeing
the tears. Hancock didn’t ever cry. Carlos felt like a monster for
making him cry, and he also felt like crying himself.

Carlos took in a shuddering breath – oh, he really did feel like crying! He breathed again, trying to even it out so he could speak.

“Hancock…
it’s o-okay,” Carlos told him softly. “You’ll be okay. We got some
medicine in you… I’ll get this place cleaned up, and with some rest
you’ll be just fine.”

Carlos supposed he should have been mad
about the substance binge, but he realized that really he was just
scared. He wanted Hancock to be well again. That’s all he wanted.

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist‌:

Carlos rooted through the drawers, picking up inhalers he found and reading the label. Why did Addictol inhalers have to look like damn Jet inhalers?

But finally Carlos found one that was labeled Addictol and seemed to be full. Before he turned to get back to Hancock though he had mind enough to go to the cooler and grab a can of water as well.

Carlos came back, watching his feet so he didn’t step on something and hurt himself, before he knelt back beside the couch.

“Here, Han… some Addictol,” he said, offering it to the ghoul. “Do- do you need help taking it?”

Hancock began to drift off again as Carlos searched, eyes slipping shut as he tried to catch a few minutes of rest. When he began speaking again, the ghoul groaned and forced his eyes open again, looking up at him groggily.

“What….?” He asked softly, confusion on his face. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember why the other man wanted him to take something. He frowned and reached out for the inhaler, giving it a look before putting it to his lips and sucking in a dose of the medicine. Dropping it then, Hancock made another face and settled back down, unfocused eyes drifting back up to Carlos.

“Y’gonna stay with me? You’re not gonna leave me, right?”

Carlos watched Hancock take the Addictol. He took it like he was huffing Jet. Did he already forget what it was that Carlos got him? He reached to take the inhaler and ensure that it was empty when Hancock had looked at him.

Carlos felt a pang of guilt in his chest. Hancock was like this because of him. Obviously. This had Carlos wondering, again, if they should stay together in the long-term if he was going to just be a source of pain for Hancock.

But he really couldn’t make that decision now.

“I… I’ll stay with you, Han,” Carlos said. He took Hancock’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m going to help you feel better. I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist‌:

Somewhere over there. It frustrated Carlos that Hancock couldn’t be more helpful, but really… what could he expect? But he can give it a quick look-around before pressing Hancock for details.

Carlos started to stand up to go to the indicated counter.

Fortunately, even high the ghoul had enough sense to know where he’d put something–– more or less. The addictol was in one of the drawers in the kitchen area, if Carlos were to look through them, he’d find it before too long, Hancock just wasn’t sure exactly which drawer the other should look in and he wouldn’t be any help if Carlos expected him to get up and help.

Carlos rooted through the drawers, picking up inhalers he found and reading the label. Why did Addictol inhalers have to look like damn Jet inhalers?

But finally Carlos found one that was labeled Addictol and seemed to be full. Before he turned to get back to Hancock though he had mind enough to go to the cooler and grab a can of water as well.

Carlos came back, watching his feet so he didn’t step on something and hurt himself, before he knelt back beside the couch.

“Here, Han… some Addictol,” he said, offering it to the ghoul. “Do- do you need help taking it?”

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist‌:

Carlos looked around. The drawer? Which drawer? Wait – Hancock shouldn’t be going to sleep! “Han, s- please, stay with me. Which
drawer? Which dresser are we talking – where you usually keep your
drugs? I need to know, Han, okay? I- I’m trying to help you…”

Should
he shout out for help? Hancock might not like anyone seeing him like
this, but Carlos was worried he couldn’t take care of everything
himself.

Oh God, this was all his fault wasn’t it? If he had
just stayed inside – even slept on the couch – then he could have kept
an eye on Hancock and this wouldn’t have happened!

He let out a low hum, a frown crossing his face as he tried to think. Everything was so foggy and distant now and some small part of him recognized the fear and urgency in Carlos’ voice, but he didn’t have the energy to put together why the other might be so worried.

“Kitchen?” The ghoul more asked than answered, dark eyes opening slightly in a squint as he glanced over at the kitchen counter across the room. “S’over there somewhere.”

Somewhere over there. It frustrated Carlos that Hancock couldn’t be more helpful, but really… what could he expect? But he can give it a quick look-around before pressing Hancock for details.

Carlos started to stand up to go to the indicated counter.

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist‌:

Carlos couldn’t help but look at the other incredulously. “What? No! I’m not! But Jesus, Hancock!” Carlos shut his eyes and tried to think. Addictol. Would Hancock even have any?

“Han, do you have any Addictol? I can get you some water, but is there anything I can give you to help you with this?” If he didn’t have any Carlos was going to have to send a Watchman out to get some. Carlos was scared – he didn’t want to lose Hancock like this!

“You’re not?” He seemed surprised by that, dark eyes going wide and a small smile tugging at his lips despite Carlos’ yelling. The relief he felt was immediate, the ghoul relaxing back into the cushions and his grip on the other man’s hand loosening a bit. He let his eyes slip shut and sighed softly, that smile still on his lips.

“Mmm?” Came his dazed reply as he struggled to open his eyes to look at him again. “Uh…. think there’s somethin’….. somewhere. Th’ drawer maybe? I…… don’t know….. ‘m so tired….”

Carlos looked around. The drawer? Which drawer? Wait – Hancock shouldn’t be going to sleep! “Han, s- please, stay with me. Which
drawer? Which dresser are we talking – where you usually keep your
drugs? I need to know, Han, okay? I- I’m trying to help you…”

Should
he shout out for help? Hancock might not like anyone seeing him like
this, but Carlos was worried he couldn’t take care of everything
himself.

Oh God, this was all his fault wasn’t it? If he had
just stayed inside – even slept on the couch – then he could have kept
an eye on Hancock and this woudn’t have happened!