Tag: //drugs

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist‌:

Carlos watched Hancock take the Addictol. He took it like he was huffing Jet. Did he already forget what it was that Carlos got him? He reached to take the inhaler and ensure that it was empty when Hancock had looked at him.

Carlos felt a pang of guilt in his chest. Hancock was like this because of him. Obviously. This had Carlos wondering, again, if they should stay together in the long-term if he was going to just be a source of pain for Hancock.

But he really couldn’t make that decision now.

“I… I’ll stay with you, Han,” Carlos said. He took Hancock’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m going to help you feel better. I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

It wasn’t Carlos so much as Hancock’s own damage that had caused this. The scientist’s initial reaction to things had been reasonable but the ghoul tended to be oversensitive about certain things, particularly when it came to what his boyfriend thought about his….. anatomy. It was a difficult situation for Carlos to win in the first place.

“Thank you.” The ghoul croaked, eyes beginning to water again. He pulled Carlos in, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling himself up to hug the other man clumsily.

“‘M sorry….” Hancock breathed, a slight whimper in his voice. “I’m sorry I fucked up, I won’t do it again…..”

Carlos was a little slow to return the hug, but he did when he feared
that Hancock might lose his grip and fall somehow. Also, Hancock looked
so incredibly vulnerable… Carlos’ heart was hurting just from seeing
the tears. Hancock didn’t ever cry. Carlos felt like a monster for
making him cry, and he also felt like crying himself.

Carlos took in a shuddering breath – oh, he really did feel like crying! He breathed again, trying to even it out so he could speak.

“Hancock…
it’s o-okay,” Carlos told him softly. “You’ll be okay. We got some
medicine in you… I’ll get this place cleaned up, and with some rest
you’ll be just fine.”

Carlos supposed he should have been mad
about the substance binge, but he realized that really he was just
scared. He wanted Hancock to be well again. That’s all he wanted.

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist‌:

Carlos rooted through the drawers, picking up inhalers he found and reading the label. Why did Addictol inhalers have to look like damn Jet inhalers?

But finally Carlos found one that was labeled Addictol and seemed to be full. Before he turned to get back to Hancock though he had mind enough to go to the cooler and grab a can of water as well.

Carlos came back, watching his feet so he didn’t step on something and hurt himself, before he knelt back beside the couch.

“Here, Han… some Addictol,” he said, offering it to the ghoul. “Do- do you need help taking it?”

Hancock began to drift off again as Carlos searched, eyes slipping shut as he tried to catch a few minutes of rest. When he began speaking again, the ghoul groaned and forced his eyes open again, looking up at him groggily.

“What….?” He asked softly, confusion on his face. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember why the other man wanted him to take something. He frowned and reached out for the inhaler, giving it a look before putting it to his lips and sucking in a dose of the medicine. Dropping it then, Hancock made another face and settled back down, unfocused eyes drifting back up to Carlos.

“Y’gonna stay with me? You’re not gonna leave me, right?”

Carlos watched Hancock take the Addictol. He took it like he was huffing Jet. Did he already forget what it was that Carlos got him? He reached to take the inhaler and ensure that it was empty when Hancock had looked at him.

Carlos felt a pang of guilt in his chest. Hancock was like this because of him. Obviously. This had Carlos wondering, again, if they should stay together in the long-term if he was going to just be a source of pain for Hancock.

But he really couldn’t make that decision now.

“I… I’ll stay with you, Han,” Carlos said. He took Hancock’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m going to help you feel better. I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist‌:

Somewhere over there. It frustrated Carlos that Hancock couldn’t be more helpful, but really… what could he expect? But he can give it a quick look-around before pressing Hancock for details.

Carlos started to stand up to go to the indicated counter.

Fortunately, even high the ghoul had enough sense to know where he’d put something–– more or less. The addictol was in one of the drawers in the kitchen area, if Carlos were to look through them, he’d find it before too long, Hancock just wasn’t sure exactly which drawer the other should look in and he wouldn’t be any help if Carlos expected him to get up and help.

Carlos rooted through the drawers, picking up inhalers he found and reading the label. Why did Addictol inhalers have to look like damn Jet inhalers?

But finally Carlos found one that was labeled Addictol and seemed to be full. Before he turned to get back to Hancock though he had mind enough to go to the cooler and grab a can of water as well.

Carlos came back, watching his feet so he didn’t step on something and hurt himself, before he knelt back beside the couch.

“Here, Han… some Addictol,” he said, offering it to the ghoul. “Do- do you need help taking it?”

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist‌:

Carlos looked around. The drawer? Which drawer? Wait – Hancock shouldn’t be going to sleep! “Han, s- please, stay with me. Which
drawer? Which dresser are we talking – where you usually keep your
drugs? I need to know, Han, okay? I- I’m trying to help you…”

Should
he shout out for help? Hancock might not like anyone seeing him like
this, but Carlos was worried he couldn’t take care of everything
himself.

Oh God, this was all his fault wasn’t it? If he had
just stayed inside – even slept on the couch – then he could have kept
an eye on Hancock and this wouldn’t have happened!

He let out a low hum, a frown crossing his face as he tried to think. Everything was so foggy and distant now and some small part of him recognized the fear and urgency in Carlos’ voice, but he didn’t have the energy to put together why the other might be so worried.

“Kitchen?” The ghoul more asked than answered, dark eyes opening slightly in a squint as he glanced over at the kitchen counter across the room. “S’over there somewhere.”

Somewhere over there. It frustrated Carlos that Hancock couldn’t be more helpful, but really… what could he expect? But he can give it a quick look-around before pressing Hancock for details.

Carlos started to stand up to go to the indicated counter.

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist‌:

Carlos couldn’t help but look at the other incredulously. “What? No! I’m not! But Jesus, Hancock!” Carlos shut his eyes and tried to think. Addictol. Would Hancock even have any?

“Han, do you have any Addictol? I can get you some water, but is there anything I can give you to help you with this?” If he didn’t have any Carlos was going to have to send a Watchman out to get some. Carlos was scared – he didn’t want to lose Hancock like this!

“You’re not?” He seemed surprised by that, dark eyes going wide and a small smile tugging at his lips despite Carlos’ yelling. The relief he felt was immediate, the ghoul relaxing back into the cushions and his grip on the other man’s hand loosening a bit. He let his eyes slip shut and sighed softly, that smile still on his lips.

“Mmm?” Came his dazed reply as he struggled to open his eyes to look at him again. “Uh…. think there’s somethin’….. somewhere. Th’ drawer maybe? I…… don’t know….. ‘m so tired….”

Carlos looked around. The drawer? Which drawer? Wait – Hancock shouldn’t be going to sleep! “Han, s- please, stay with me. Which
drawer? Which dresser are we talking – where you usually keep your
drugs? I need to know, Han, okay? I- I’m trying to help you…”

Should
he shout out for help? Hancock might not like anyone seeing him like
this, but Carlos was worried he couldn’t take care of everything
himself.

Oh God, this was all his fault wasn’t it? If he had
just stayed inside – even slept on the couch – then he could have kept
an eye on Hancock and this woudn’t have happened!

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist :

Carlos was trying to figure out what to do. When Hancock touched him a hand automatically went up to take one of Hancock’s and give it a tight squeeze. Carlos took a look around at the needles and empty canisters and he felt overwhelmed.

“Han, did you… did you take all this??” he asked seriously. He then spotted bottles among the items and, somehow, his fear grew. He mixed drugs and alcohol?? Hancock was a hearty individual, as a ghoul, but Carlos feared that not even he would sober up in one piece.

“I….” He didn’t quite understand the question, not at first. Once it processed, Hancock glanced over at the scattered needles and bottles and sniffled. “Yeah?” It came out more as a question than anything, his mind still struggling to follow Carlos’ line of thought.

“What––” He started again, eyes flicking back up to the other man’s. “A-are you….. gonna leave me….? I-I didn’t mean to–– please give me another chance…..”

Carlos couldn’t help but look at the other incredulously. “What? No! I’m not! But Jesus, Hancock!” Carlos shut his eyes and tried to think. Addictol. Would Hancock even have any?

“Han, do you have any Addictol? I can get you some water, but is there anything I can give you to help you with this?” If he didn’t have any Carlos was going to have to send a Watchman out to get some. Carlos was scared – he didn’t want to lose Hancock like this!

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist :

Carlos was startled and, and for an irrational moment he thought he might be pushed down the stairs. But, again, it was an irrational thought and Carlos felt guilty about thinking it. Upon realizing where he was being directed though, his stomach felt like it was sucked into a small, localized black hole.

Hancock probably told the Watch that he wanted to talk to Carlos. This was it. He was going to tell Carlos that this wasn’t working. Because it wasn’t – Carlos knew that. He wouldn’t blame Hancock for ending it… though it didn’t change the fact that this was going to hurt so much.

Carlos resigned himself. This was it, and there wasn’t anything he could do about it but… go and face the music. He could do that. He had to. Just stand there and agree with Hancock when he said that it was over.

He had expected, when he walked in, to see Hancock on the couch. Maybe playing with a jet canister or even his knife. Collected, calm, and serious. He didn’t expect to see the prone form on the couch with the mess of drug paraphernalia scattered around him. Carlos was confused at first, but as he cautiously stepped closer and started to put together what all the mess meant – that, plus the image of Hancock lying down motionless – Carlos’ mind jumped to conclusions and he suddenly panicked.

“HANCOCK!!” he screamed and he rushed forward. Carlos used his boot to sweep away the needles scattered dangerously at the front of the couch and he crouched down to take Hancock’s face in his hands and examine it. “Hancock! Han, can you hear me??”

The shout hardly registered, and the ghoul didn’t move, not until Carlos physically moved him. He groaned softly, dark eyes moving to his, unfocused and hazy. It took a few moments for him to register who was touching him and once he did, the tears returned. Choking out a sob, Hancock reached up with shaky hands and gently cupped his face, hardly believing he was even real.

“C-Carlos? You came back?” He breathed in disbelief. “You–– I-I’m so sorry. I fucked up, I-I didn’t mean to–– I didn’t want to m-make you uncomfortable, I–– please don’t leave me…..”

Carlos was trying to figure out what to do. When Hancock touched him a hand automatically went up to take one of Hancock’s and give it a tight squeeze. Carlos took a look around at the needles and empty canisters and he felt overwhelmed.

“Han, did you… did you take all this??” he asked seriously. He then spotted bottles among the items and, somehow, his fear grew. He mixed drugs and alcohol?? Hancock was a hearty individual, as a ghoul, but Carlos feared that not even he would sober up in one piece.

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist :

Carlos was starving. How long had he been working? He had no
idea – he was getting a little delirious and he realized he’d been cleaning the
same part for a good thirty minutes. The generator was almost entirely clean so
he’d had to have been there for hours. He needed to eat something and he spent
a good while trying to convince himself to leave.

His caps were still in the Statehouse, so Carlos had to go
back. Just something small, he told himself; maybe a carrot or a single
mutfruit. Just enough to hold him over so he could come back… if he managed to
avoid Hancock. Or if Hancock didn’t even want to see him; that’d be… easier. In
only a couple ways.

Finally Carlos put down the cloth and started for the door.
He built up enough motivation to reach the door and open it without any pause
and he was back out in Goodneighbor. However, he jumped when he noticed a
figure leaning against the wall of the warehouse. Fahrenheit was glaring at him
under the fringe of her hair. Was that a glare? She always looked like she was
glaring.

She didn’t say a word, just looked at him. It took Carlos a
few moments, trying to convince himself the she wasn’t going to hurt him
(despite the look she gave him) and he finally turned away and started walking
down the alley. He felt her gaze heavy and piercing on his back, and when he
reached the stoop he was almost shaking.

Carlos almost jumped inside the Statehouse and he shut the
door behind him. A Neighborhood Watchman shifted his gun when Carlos came in,
but he seemed to relax almost immediately. Carlos looked at his feet and
started up the spiral staircase, trying not to make any more noise than
necessary.

Once Carlos made it up the staircase, a Watchman stepped up to block him from going anywhere but the lounge, gesturing to the scientist to enter without saying anything else. Whether or not Hancock had shown his distress, they’d been with him long enough to know when the ghoul was having a rough time and all the signs were there, it would be easier to simply shove Carlos in the right direction than wait for things to resolve on their own.

Inside, Hancock was curled up on the couch, half-conscious with tear-stained cheeks, the box of cereal he’d been eating laying open on the floor with several pieces scattered about. The place was littered in spent needles and canisters of jet, along with several empty bottles and the mayor himself looked disheveled and exhausted.

Carlos was startled and, and for an irrational moment he thought he might be pushed down the stairs. But, again, it was an irrational thought and Carlos felt guilty about thinking it. Upon realizing where he was being directed though, his stomach felt like it was sucked into a small, localized black hole.

Hancock probably told the Watch that he wanted to talk to Carlos. This was it. He was going to tell Carlos that this wasn’t working. Because it wasn’t – Carlos knew that. He wouldn’t blame Hancock for ending it… though it didn’t change the fact that this was going to hurt so much.

Carlos resigned himself. This was it, and there wasn’t anything he could do about it but… go and face the music. He could do that. He had to. Just stand there and agree with Hancock when he said that it was over.

He had expected, when he walked in, to see Hancock on the couch. Maybe playing with a jet canister or even his knife. Collected, calm, and serious. He didn’t expect to see the prone form on the couch with the mess of drug paraphernalia scattered around him. Carlos was confused at first, but as he cautiously stepped closer and started to put together what all the mess meant – that, plus the image of Hancock lying down motionless – Carlos’ mind jumped to conclusions and he suddenly panicked.

“HANCOCK!!” he screamed and he rushed forward. Carlos used his boot to sweep away the needles scattered dangerously at the front of the couch and he crouched down to take Hancock’s face in his hands and examine it. “Hancock! Han, can you hear me??”