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“Don’t leave! Look – I’m not asking you to leave! Please, I –“
Carlos stopped himself. Hancock was talking so calmly to him, and he was
freaking out. Dammit, that was not good – he was just going to scare the other
man. Carlos shut his eyes and tried to take a few deep breaths. He squeezed
Hancock’s hand, not wanting the other to slip out of his grip. He just… he needed
to calm down and try not to unnerve the other.

“P-please, Hancock, don’t go.” He swallowed. Carlos had
opened his eyes, but he wasn’t really able to look Hancock in the face –
instead he was staring at their hands. Mostly Hancock’s hand, as it was
visually more interesting. “I… I’m sorry. I wanted to be honest, not… not make
you… leave. I want you here. I wanna try this. I want to try to have a relaxing
night with you, and…” Carlos made a low, sad groaning sound. “I’m so sorry… I
didn’t mean to freak you out, I just…” He wasn’t sure what to tell Hancock. He
let out an unhappy sigh. “I’m sorry I’m terrible…”

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Carlos’ heart lurched and he started to feel panic grip him.
“Wha – no, Hancock wait!” he exclaimed – maybe a bit too loudly. But Carlos
quickly stepped forward and grabbed Hancock’s sleeve, but not his arm as he
didn’t want to accidentally hurt the ghoul. But he held the shirt tightly, wanting
desperately for the other not to run away. “Han, wait, please! I’m sorry! I’m
sorry, I’m sorry – Please, don’t leave! I’m not telling you to go away! Please,
I’m sorry!” Fuck, fuck, fuck! He
messed up! He messed up badly!

This was how it ends – Hancock wasn’t going to trust him
anymore. He’d be too nice to say so, but things would change too quickly. They
wouldn’t try to open up to each other anymore, and they’d grow apart and Carlos
would have to leave so Hancock could go on with his life and then Carlos would be
alone, and then he’d get caught and ripped apart by super mutants and never be
heard from again, and Hancock would wonder about him but wouldn’t go out
looking for him, and… and… and–!

Food for the Soul (closed w/ selfmedicatingmayor)

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the-perfect-scientist :

Carlos blushed a bit. “Oh, come on, I’m not really a genius… I just had an education.”

He suddenly froze. Shit, that sounded so… so pretentious and horrible!

“I – no, I don’t mean it like that!” Carlos quickly back-pedaled. “I meant – I meant I got an old-world education, and it specialized in mechanics for the wo- the job that my G.O.A.T. exam had placed me in s-so I have a head for this stuff. You… you have a head for resource management, leadership, and charisma. Just, uh… just different strengths is all.” Carlos tired to smile at him awkwardly, hoping that he hadn’t messed up too terribly.

Hancock may have been offended if Carlos hadn’t been so quick to correct himself, that is.

“This might surprise ya, but we do have schools in the Commonwealth–– well, Diamond City does, anyway, but I did drop out, so…. that first statement ain’t so wrong, even if it wasn’t what ya meant.” He shrugged. “I know folks in the vaults tended to get better educations than us out here, it’s not surprisin’ you’d know a hell of a lot more than any of us, you don’t have to try to make me feel smarter than I am, heh.”

“But you are smart!” Carlos insisted. “It’s no small mental feat to keep this place running! You know who’s who and where their strengths are and you know how to command respect and compliance from people, which is something I could never do. And… and I think you’re very good at reading people as well. Heh, I’m, like… pretty bad at that. I didn’t have the social development I probably should have had outside of interacting with the same forty or so people for over three decades, you know?”

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Carlos wasn’t really sure if Hancock was being wholly
truthful, with regards to how other people reacted. You can’t just… not care about that sort of thing,
right? And he was so anxious and frightened, worried that Carlos might do the
same thing, that it made Carlos believe that other people’s reactions affected
him. At least a bit.

But Carlos had to be honest. He didn’t want to be – GOD! He wished he could just ignore it
right off the bat and pretend he wasn’t weirded out by this – but he cared too
much about Hancock to try to keep him uninformed about what was really going on
in his own head.

“Hancock… I care about you a lot,” he said softly. “And I
don’t want this to get between us.” He took a deep breath – but he tried to keep
it short so Hancock didn’t have too much time to fret. “This’ll take me a bit
to get used to,” he admitted slowly. “I’m so sorry about that – I mean, I want
to be okay with this right away, but… it’s… tough. I just… I just need to
remind myself that you’re not in pain or… anything. It’s not your fault at all –
I’m going to do my damnest to get over thi- I mean, over myself. O- okay? I’m – I’m so sorry if that’s not what you want to
hear, b-but I wanna be honest and I don’t wanna make you feel bad or anything
and it’s not your fault and I’m sorry I’m just having trouble with this and –
and- shit – fuck, I should stop
talking, I’m so sorry!”

Carlos wasn’t sure what happened at the end. Something in
his emotions just… lurched and he started to babble and he couldn’t stop it and…
God damn, he hoped Hancock wasn’t getting anxious from him.

A Holiday Surprise (closed w/ selfmedicatingmayor)

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Carlos just kept smiling. “It’s alright, Hancock… I promise. I knew you wouldn’t remember. I just wanted to do something nice for you… I like doing that for you when I can. Because you know… all you do is give to me and others.” He kissed his hand again. “If you wanna make it up to me though, I’ll let you. But believe me when I say I don’t mind – you’ve provided so much for me already.” Carlos swallowed around a little lump in his throat that was starting to develop from his talk… he should probably stop talking if he didn’t wanna tear up. Hancock could probably even hear it in his voice if he was paying attention to that.

Regardless of what Carlos said, Hancock still felt bad. Here he’d done something nice for him and the ghoul hadn’t even considered that a holiday was even coming up or that he should do anything special for him–– aside from the occasional spontaneous something special, that is. “I…… I should have remembered. I should have known and had something planned and I’m sorry. Holidays….. really aren’t my strong suit, I don’t uh…. I don’t really celebrate anything so I never know when something’s coming up. I promise I’ll figure out something to make it up to you.”

Carlos nodded a bit and finally leaned in to press a gentle kiss to Hancock’s mouth. He sat back and took a deep breath before smiling again. He was trying not to cry, and it was working. Hancock was just so sweet and it touched Carlos… but he really didn’t wanna cry yet when he wasn’t even done with the presents yet.

“Um… Let’s finish eating, “ he said. “I’ve… I’ve got something else for you, but I left it in the warehouse. So… mind walking with me to go get it? After we eat?”

Food for the Soul (closed w/ selfmedicatingmayor)

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Carlos smiled at Hancock and shook his head. “No. So, this is interesting – the fan cools this end of the piece,” he pointed to one side with the screwdriver. “So when that is cool, all the heat over here,” – he swirled the point of the screwdriver above the remaining parts like a wand – “tries to go back and warm it up. But then the fan just pushes the heat back out and cools it. It keeps going like that, heat that gets generated over here just flows out like a river just to get pushed out of the terminal.” As he explained he pointed the screwdriver at one end and drew it along to show the flow of motion. “It’s kind of like how wind gets created, actually… or how reactor cooling systems are used.”

“That…… huh. How the hell did they even figure out how to do that? Doesn’t really seem intuitive, y’know? Still actually doesn’t make a whole lotta sense to me how that works, but I believe ya.” Hancock let out a soft chuckle and offered a shrug as he glanced from the terminal back to Carlos. “I didn’t actually know any of that. Heh, must seem pretty stupid to a genius like you, huh?”

Carlos blushed a bit. “Oh, come on, I’m not really a genius… I just had an education.”

He suddenly froze. Shit, that sounded so… so pretentious and horrible!

“I – no, I don’t mean it like that!” Carlos quickly back-pedaled. “I meant – I meant I got an old-world education, and it specialized in mechanics for the wo- the job that my G.O.A.T. exam had placed me in s-so I have a head for this stuff. You… you have a head for resource management, leadership, and charisma. Just, uh… just different strengths is all.” Carlos tired to smile at him awkwardly, hoping that he hadn’t messed up too terribly.

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For a second Carlos was just confused and he didn’t know
what Hancock was talking about. But then he understood and he was… well, he
was a little shocked. “Hancock… this might be news to you, but I don’t think
about sex all the time,” Carlos said, offering a little smile to show that he
was trying to be at least a bit humorous.

He squeezed Hancock’s hands, but then
relaxed his grip so that the other could take them back if he wanted to. “I’m
sorry you’re scared. Do… you wanna wait to do this? Bathing together I mean?”

A Holiday Surprise (closed w/ selfmedicatingmayor)

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Carlos smiled again. He set down his chopsticks to take Hancock’s hand in this. “I’m so glad to have met you too,” he said. “More than just that… God knows what would have happened to me without you.” Carlos brought Hancock’s hand up to his mouth and kissed the top of it, not breaking eye-contact with him. “This might not mean much to you, but… Merry Christmas, Han. This is my second Christmas out here, but it feels so much more like the real thing this time around. With you, I mean.”

A warm smile spread across the ghoul’s lips at that little kiss and he gave his hand a little squeeze. The next bit caught him off guard, however, a slightly confused looking crossing his face. “It’s–– I’m sorry, I uh…. I barely even know anyone that celebrates Christmas and I never did, myself, I didn’t realize that was today. If I’d known…. shit, I should’a done somethin’ for ya, I’m sorry, sunshine.”

Carlos just kept smiling. “It’s alright, Hancock… I promise. I knew you wouldn’t remember. I just wanted to do something nice for you… I like doing that for you when I can. Because you know… all you do is give to me and others.” He kissed his hand again. “If you wanna make it up to me though, I’ll let you. But believe me when I say I don’t mind – you’ve provided so much for me already.” Carlos swallowed around a little lump in his throat that was starting to develop from his talk… he should probably stop talking if he didn’t wanna tear up. Hancock could probably even hear it in his voice if he was paying attention to that.

Food for the Soul (closed w/ selfmedicatingmayor)

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Carlos laughed. “That would be kinda fun,” he admitted. “But to find any intact film reels… I wonder if it’s possible. After we work on the turret system, if you want.” Carlos removed the next casing – one that covered a large bar of metal that led from the board toward the fan. “This part right here – the funny-shaped bit of solid metal – it leads heat from the mainboard over to the fan here so that the fan can drive the heat out of the terminal.”

“Right, after the turret, I almost forgot, heh. We can take a look for some film, maybe if we can get into that library or somethin’ we’ll find some, don’t have to worry about it, just thought it might be fun.” He leaned in then as the conversation shifted back to the task at hand, taking a look at what Carlos was talking about. “Wait, how does that work? I’d think a hunk of metal there would keep the heat in, not lead it out. It’s not like an obstacle for it?”

Carlos smiled at Hancock and shook his head. “No. So, this is interesting – the fan cools this end of the piece,” he pointed to one side with the screwdriver. “So when that is cool, all the heat over here,” – he swirled the point of the screwdriver above the remaining parts like a wand – “tries to go back and warm it up. But then the fan just pushes the heat back out and cools it. It keeps going like that, heat that gets generated over here just flows out like a river just to get pushed out of the terminal.” As he explained he pointed the screwdriver at one end and drew it along to show the flow of motion. “It’s kind of like how wind gets created, actually… or how reactor cooling systems are used.”

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Carlos’ gaze jumped up to Hancock’s face and he was confused. “What – No! No, of course not!” he said, maybe a bit loudly. He walked up to the ghoul and reached to take his hands. “No, Han – I’m not going to run away. This – admittedly it’ll take a bit to get used to this, but I’m not going to be a jackass and just leave you hanging. Okay? I promise, I’m not going to do that to you.”