Why don’t you ask the platypus? *max points behind carlos*
*confused, Carlos looks. He jumps, startled* Oh – oh my goodness, it’s in a tree! What the… oh my gosh, that is a platypus.
Yeah. We call her ‘Muack’. It’s the sound she makes. She ate one of her babies.
Uh… well, animals do that. Wait, how did she have eggs? Is there a male running around?
Dunno. We just found her with eggs. All her other ones died and she ate the last one that me and Nikki took care of. She’s terrible but we still love her.
Huh… well, just don’t let her have another clutch of eggs, I guess. *looks at the platypus* Um, hey, sweetie… wanna come down here? It’s dangerous to be up in a tree…
She knows what she’s doing.
*the platypus hisses at carlos, nearly falling off the branch*
Oh! Be careful, honey… She doesn’t seem like she’s been handled a lot. Is she feral?
She’s violent. She bit Neil once and threatens to kick.
She does? Huh, that’s weird – females don’t have spurs.
Maybe she’s both.
Or she’s just doing some male things on instinct, like dogs do. I’m a scientist, not an animal biologist, so I don’t know.
Maybe she just is.
What, a hermaphrodite?
Maybe. Or maybe she just i s.
… I don’t think I follow, Max… she is what?
All.
I really don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me, Max…
She just is, Carlos.
*the platypus is no longer in the tree*
You’re still being vague. But… okay, I guess. Help me get her out of the… *looks at the tree* Wait, where’d she go?
Probably somewhere. Or everywhere.
Heh… Welcome to Night Vale. You’re awfully cryptic, Max. Do you think she’s alright?
She’s probably eating lizards or something, I dunno. Not my day to watch her. Welcome to where?
Night Vale. It’s a town I used to live in. *Carlos went to get the pot* Let’s head inside and try the control experiment, I guess.
Alright. Let’s go do that.
*Carlos walks around to go inside the mess hall with the pot, expecting Max to follow*
*Max followed Carlos, half walking backwards to make sure the platypus wasn’t salking*
*Opens the door and holds it open for Max.* Hey, you looking for something?
Nah. Just makin’ sure.
Making sure of what?
That she doesn’t attack. I told you. She’s v i o l e n t.
No… she’s feral. She just hasn’t been handled much at all. But thank you, Max… for being alert, I suppose. *he closes the door behind Max* There – she won’t bother us right now, right? Time to get that control done. *he smiles*
*max nodded* yeah, sure, let’s do that.
*Carlos walks over to the kitchen and starts to wash out the pot*
Are we gonna use the same pot or a different one?
I think we’ll use this one. I’m just making sure there’s no pondscum left over before i fill it up again.
Mkay. Understandable.
*he rinses the soap out of the pot before he starts to fill it up again.* Okay, here we go.
Why don’t you ask the platypus? *max points behind carlos*
*confused, Carlos looks. He jumps, startled* Oh – oh my goodness, it’s in a tree! What the… oh my gosh, that is a platypus.
Yeah. We call her ‘Muack’. It’s the sound she makes. She ate one of her babies.
Uh… well, animals do that. Wait, how did she have eggs? Is there a male running around?
Dunno. We just found her with eggs. All her other ones died and she ate the last one that me and Nikki took care of. She’s terrible but we still love her.
Huh… well, just don’t let her have another clutch of eggs, I guess. *looks at the platypus* Um, hey, sweetie… wanna come down here? It’s dangerous to be up in a tree…
She knows what she’s doing.
*the platypus hisses at carlos, nearly falling off the branch*
Oh! Be careful, honey… She doesn’t seem like she’s been handled a lot. Is she feral?
She’s violent. She bit Neil once and threatens to kick.
She does? Huh, that’s weird – females don’t have spurs.
Maybe she’s both.
Or she’s just doing some male things on instinct, like dogs do. I’m a scientist, not an animal biologist, so I don’t know.
Maybe she just is.
What, a hermaphrodite?
Maybe. Or maybe she just i s.
… I don’t think I follow, Max… she is what?
All.
I really don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me, Max…
She just is, Carlos.
*the platypus is no longer in the tree*
You’re still being vague. But… okay, I guess. Help me get her out of the… *looks at the tree* Wait, where’d she go?
Probably somewhere. Or everywhere.
Heh… Welcome to Night Vale. You’re awfully cryptic, Max. Do you think she’s alright?
She’s probably eating lizards or something, I dunno. Not my day to watch her. Welcome to where?
Night Vale. It’s a town I used to live in. *Carlos went to get the pot* Let’s head inside and try the control experiment, I guess.
Alright. Let’s go do that.
*Carlos walks around to go inside the mess hall with the pot, expecting Max to follow*
*Max followed Carlos, half walking backwards to make sure the platypus wasn’t salking*
*Opens the door and holds it open for Max.* Hey, you looking for something?
Nah. Just makin’ sure.
Making sure of what?
That she doesn’t attack. I told you. She’s v i o l e n t.
No… she’s feral. She just hasn’t been handled much at all. But thank you, Max… for being alert, I suppose. *he closes the door behind Max* There – she won’t bother us right now, right? Time to get that control done. *he smiles*
*max nodded* yeah, sure, let’s do that.
*Carlos walks over to the kitchen and starts to wash out the pot*
Are we gonna use the same pot or a different one?
I think we’ll use this one. I’m just making sure there’s no pondscum left over before i fill it up again.
Why don’t you ask the platypus? *max points behind carlos*
*confused, Carlos looks. He jumps, startled* Oh – oh my goodness, it’s in a tree! What the… oh my gosh, that is a platypus.
Yeah. We call her ‘Muack’. It’s the sound she makes. She ate one of her babies.
Uh… well, animals do that. Wait, how did she have eggs? Is there a male running around?
Dunno. We just found her with eggs. All her other ones died and she ate the last one that me and Nikki took care of. She’s terrible but we still love her.
Huh… well, just don’t let her have another clutch of eggs, I guess. *looks at the platypus* Um, hey, sweetie… wanna come down here? It’s dangerous to be up in a tree…
She knows what she’s doing.
*the platypus hisses at carlos, nearly falling off the branch*
Oh! Be careful, honey… She doesn’t seem like she’s been handled a lot. Is she feral?
She’s violent. She bit Neil once and threatens to kick.
She does? Huh, that’s weird – females don’t have spurs.
Maybe she’s both.
Or she’s just doing some male things on instinct, like dogs do. I’m a scientist, not an animal biologist, so I don’t know.
Maybe she just is.
What, a hermaphrodite?
Maybe. Or maybe she just i s.
… I don’t think I follow, Max… she is what?
All.
I really don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me, Max…
She just is, Carlos.
*the platypus is no longer in the tree*
You’re still being vague. But… okay, I guess. Help me get her out of the… *looks at the tree* Wait, where’d she go?
Probably somewhere. Or everywhere.
Heh… Welcome to Night Vale. You’re awfully cryptic, Max. Do you think she’s alright?
She’s probably eating lizards or something, I dunno. Not my day to watch her. Welcome to where?
Night Vale. It’s a town I used to live in. *Carlos went to get the pot* Let’s head inside and try the control experiment, I guess.
Alright. Let’s go do that.
*Carlos walks around to go inside the mess hall with the pot, expecting Max to follow*
*Max followed Carlos, half walking backwards to make sure the platypus wasn’t salking*
*Opens the door and holds it open for Max.* Hey, you looking for something?
Nah. Just makin’ sure.
Making sure of what?
That she doesn’t attack. I told you. She’s v i o l e n t.
No… she’s feral. She just hasn’t been handled much at all. But thank you, Max… for being alert, I suppose. *he closes the door behind Max* There – she won’t bother us right now, right? Time to get that control done. *he smiles*
*max nodded* yeah, sure, let’s do that.
*Carlos walks over to the kitchen and starts to wash out the pot*
The Perfect Scientist 