*phone rings*

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune

faer-oune:

*answers on the second ring* Faeroune Funerary, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em. What’s up?

Oh,
you know, the usual. A cultist managed to get hired by the camp and
attempted to brainwash and kill the campers but wound up poisoning
himself instead. I already took care of it, he won’t be coming anywhere
near our daughter.

Uh… Mia, I don’t know what kind of camps you’ve been to, but
that is not usual. Usual for extreme
cultists, I guess, but not for Summer Camps. What do you mean you took care of
it?

Dragons gotta eat too, don’t they? *laughs* I try not to feed Drake junk food too often though~ So, how’s your research going?

My – my research? Mia, that camp has a lot of issues going
on with it. It’s… it’s more like a camp
camp – there’s apparently different ‘camps’ rolled up into one. You signed
Angie up for ‘Science Camp’, but Max said that there was another kid there for ‘Adventure
Camp’ or something.

*phone rings*

faer-oune

faer-oune:

*answers on the second ring* Faeroune Funerary, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em. What’s up?

Oh,
you know, the usual. A cultist managed to get hired by the camp and
attempted to brainwash and kill the campers but wound up poisoning
himself instead. I already took care of it, he won’t be coming anywhere
near our daughter.

Uh… Mia, I don’t know what kind of camps you’ve been to, but
that is not usual. Usual for extreme
cultists, I guess, but not for Summer Camps. What do you mean you took care of
it?

*phone rings*

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

*answers on the second ring* Faeroune Funerary, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em. What’s up?

I – wait, ‘Funerary’? Nevermind… Mia, I have some very serious concerns that I need to talk to you about. I’m working over nearby Sleepy Peak Peak studying the volcano, and there’s a Summer Camp nearby. It’s Angela’s summer camp.

It’s called a joke, dear. You should try it some time~ I know where Angie’s summer camp is, it’s one of the reasons I picked it. What’s going on, do I need to feed someone else to the dragons?

Feed – wha? I – maybe?? I don’t – *he’s freaking out a
little bit, so he stops to take a few deep breaths* Mia, this place is shady as
hell and children have been exposed to things they shouldn’t have. Max was
telling me what happened at Spooky Island last night…

Spooky Island? Did that ghost kid turn evil or something? What’s going on that Angie hasn’t written home about? *actually sounds concerned now, all traces of teasing gone from her voice*

Oh, there’s a ghost there too, now? *he pauses and takes
another deep breath* Okay… Um, one of the kids – Max – told me how he and a
couple of his friends went to Spooky Island. He said they saw the Quartermaster
at some kind of… orgy? And Max was very clearly traumatized by it. Also, he
told me that a couple of the parents had had a coupling in front of all the
kids on Parent’s Day. I don’t think Angela was at the camp yet, but… I’m very concerned, Mia!

The ghost kid is confined to the island and not hurting anyone, so I just let him be when I found him. I didn’t hear about either of those other two things. The…orgy…? On Spooky Island is in an area forbidden to the campers, so I don’t particularly care, but if you get me the names of those two parents I’ll have some words with them if you don’t want to do it.

What? I don’t know who they were – I… I guess I’ll ask Max
later. But Mia, the Quartermaster should know better than engaging in those acts
anywhere near the campsite! Those
kids obviously ignored the rule and went to the island anyway!

Do you want me to have a talk with him or something? Because I mean, as long as it’s off the camp grounds and not actively involving any of the children, there’s not much that can be done. Have you found out about anything else we should be worried about?

Max told me about a cultist. Or… he just said there was a
cultist that came to the camp. Admittedly I don’t know much about it, but I’m
very concerned about that as well.

Angie wrote home about that, I already took care of it. I’m surprised she didn’t tell you about it already though? Maybe she didn’t want you worried over nothing.

What… what exactly
was there to take care of? Mia, what happened?

*phone rings*

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

*answers on the second ring* Faeroune Funerary, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em. What’s up?

I – wait, ‘Funerary’? Nevermind… Mia, I have some very serious concerns that I need to talk to you about. I’m working over nearby Sleepy Peak Peak studying the volcano, and there’s a Summer Camp nearby. It’s Angela’s summer camp.

It’s called a joke, dear. You should try it some time~ I know where Angie’s summer camp is, it’s one of the reasons I picked it. What’s going on, do I need to feed someone else to the dragons?

Feed – wha? I – maybe?? I don’t – *he’s freaking out a
little bit, so he stops to take a few deep breaths* Mia, this place is shady as
hell and children have been exposed to things they shouldn’t have. Max was
telling me what happened at Spooky Island last night…

Spooky Island? Did that ghost kid turn evil or something? What’s going on that Angie hasn’t written home about? *actually sounds concerned now, all traces of teasing gone from her voice*

Oh, there’s a ghost there too, now? *he pauses and takes
another deep breath* Okay… Um, one of the kids – Max – told me how he and a
couple of his friends went to Spooky Island. He said they saw the Quartermaster
at some kind of… orgy? And Max was very clearly traumatized by it. Also, he
told me that a couple of the parents had had a coupling in front of all the
kids on Parent’s Day. I don’t think Angela was at the camp yet, but… I’m very concerned, Mia!

The ghost kid is confined to the island and not hurting anyone, so I just let him be when I found him. I didn’t hear about either of those other two things. The…orgy…? On Spooky Island is in an area forbidden to the campers, so I don’t particularly care, but if you get me the names of those two parents I’ll have some words with them if you don’t want to do it.

What? I don’t know who they were – I… I guess I’ll ask Max
later. But Mia, the Quartermaster should know better than engaging in those acts
anywhere near the campsite! Those
kids obviously ignored the rule and went to the island anyway!

Do you want me to have a talk with him or something? Because I mean, as long as it’s off the camp grounds and not actively involving any of the children, there’s not much that can be done. Have you found out about anything else we should be worried about?

Max told me about a cultist. Or… he just said there was a
cultist that came to the camp. Admittedly I don’t know much about it, but I’m
very concerned about that as well.

*phone rings*

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

*answers on the second ring* Faeroune Funerary, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em. What’s up?

I – wait, ‘Funerary’? Nevermind… Mia, I have some very serious concerns that I need to talk to you about. I’m working over nearby Sleepy Peak Peak studying the volcano, and there’s a Summer Camp nearby. It’s Angela’s summer camp.

It’s called a joke, dear. You should try it some time~ I know where Angie’s summer camp is, it’s one of the reasons I picked it. What’s going on, do I need to feed someone else to the dragons?

Feed – wha? I – maybe?? I don’t – *he’s freaking out a
little bit, so he stops to take a few deep breaths* Mia, this place is shady as
hell and children have been exposed to things they shouldn’t have. Max was
telling me what happened at Spooky Island last night…

Spooky Island? Did that ghost kid turn evil or something? What’s going on that Angie hasn’t written home about? *actually sounds concerned now, all traces of teasing gone from her voice*

Oh, there’s a ghost there too, now? *he pauses and takes
another deep breath* Okay… Um, one of the kids – Max – told me how he and a
couple of his friends went to Spooky Island. He said they saw the Quartermaster
at some kind of… orgy? And Max was very clearly traumatized by it. Also, he
told me that a couple of the parents had had a coupling in front of all the
kids on Parent’s Day. I don’t think Angela was at the camp yet, but… I’m very concerned, Mia!

The ghost kid is confined to the island and not hurting anyone, so I just let him be when I found him. I didn’t hear about either of those other two things. The…orgy…? On Spooky Island is in an area forbidden to the campers, so I don’t particularly care, but if you get me the names of those two parents I’ll have some words with them if you don’t want to do it.

What? I don’t know who they were – I… I guess I’ll ask Max
later. But Mia, the Quartermaster should know better than engaging in those acts
anywhere near the campsite! Those
kids obviously ignored the rule and went to the island anyway!

*phone rings*

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

*answers on the second ring* Faeroune Funerary, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em. What’s up?

I – wait, ‘Funerary’? Nevermind… Mia, I have some very serious concerns that I need to talk to you about. I’m working over nearby Sleepy Peak Peak studying the volcano, and there’s a Summer Camp nearby. It’s Angela’s summer camp.

It’s called a joke, dear. You should try it some time~ I know where Angie’s summer camp is, it’s one of the reasons I picked it. What’s going on, do I need to feed someone else to the dragons?

Feed – wha? I – maybe?? I don’t – *he’s freaking out a
little bit, so he stops to take a few deep breaths* Mia, this place is shady as
hell and children have been exposed to things they shouldn’t have. Max was
telling me what happened at Spooky Island last night…

Spooky Island? Did that ghost kid turn evil or something? What’s going on that Angie hasn’t written home about? *actually sounds concerned now, all traces of teasing gone from her voice*

Oh, there’s a ghost there too, now? *he pauses and takes
another deep breath* Okay… Um, one of the kids – Max – told me how he and a
couple of his friends went to Spooky Island. He said they saw the Quartermaster
at some kind of… orgy? And Max was very clearly traumatized by it. Also, he
told me that a couple of the parents had had a coupling in front of all the
kids on Parent’s Day. I don’t think Angela was at the camp yet, but… I’m very concerned, Mia!

*phone rings*

faer-oune:

the-perfect-scientist:

faer-oune:

*answers on the second ring* Faeroune Funerary, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em. What’s up?

I – wait, ‘Funerary’? Nevermind… Mia, I have some very serious concerns that I need to talk to you about. I’m working over nearby Sleepy Peak Peak studying the volcano, and there’s a Summer Camp nearby. It’s Angela’s summer camp.

It’s called a joke, dear. You should try it some time~ I know where Angie’s summer camp is, it’s one of the reasons I picked it. What’s going on, do I need to feed someone else to the dragons?

Feed – wha? I – maybe?? I don’t – *he’s freaking out a
little bit, so he stops to take a few deep breaths* Mia, this place is shady as
hell and children have been exposed to things they shouldn’t have. Max was
telling me what happened at Spooky Island last night…

*phone rings*

faer-oune:

*answers on the second ring* Faeroune Funerary, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em. What’s up?

I – wait, ‘Funerary’? Nevermind… Mia, I have some very serious concerns that I need to talk to you about. I’m working over nearby Sleepy Peak Peak studying the volcano, and there’s a Summer Camp nearby. It’s Angela’s summer camp.