Carlos quickly turned his head up to look
at Hancock properly. “It doesn’t have to be like that! I promise, it doesn’t!”
he exclaimed. “You didn’t fuck anything up, I absolutely promise! It – It was –
I almost did, but I promise I – I’ll get… I’ll get better!”

Carlos’ eyes started to drift down to
Hancock’s chest as he tried to gather his thoughts together. God, his words –
they were just all over the place in his head and he couldn’t string something
coherent for the life of him!

“Or, I mean, I’ll learn to – or- or,
actually… F—Augh, ¡¡Hijo de puta!! No
seas un maldito imbécil!! ¡Mierda palabras estúpidas!”

Carlos clutched Hancock’s hand in his,
looking up at the other with a frustrated determination.

“I’m
not leaving you over this!” he stated firmly. “I won’t do that to you!
O-okay?” Please be okay with that, please be okay with that, please be okay
with that – God, Carlos’ head was starting to hurt now he was so stressed.

selfmedicatingmayor:

“Don’t leave! Look – I’m not asking you to leave! Please, I –“
Carlos stopped himself. Hancock was talking so calmly to him, and he was
freaking out. Dammit, that was not good – he was just going to scare the other
man. Carlos shut his eyes and tried to take a few deep breaths. He squeezed
Hancock’s hand, not wanting the other to slip out of his grip. He just… he needed
to calm down and try not to unnerve the other.

“P-please, Hancock, don’t go.” He swallowed. Carlos had
opened his eyes, but he wasn’t really able to look Hancock in the face –
instead he was staring at their hands. Mostly Hancock’s hand, as it was
visually more interesting. “I… I’m sorry. I wanted to be honest, not… not make
you… leave. I want you here. I wanna try this. I want to try to have a relaxing
night with you, and…” Carlos made a low, sad groaning sound. “I’m so sorry… I
didn’t mean to freak you out, I just…” He wasn’t sure what to tell Hancock. He
let out an unhappy sigh. “I’m sorry I’m terrible…”

selfmedicatingmayor:

Carlos’ heart lurched and he started to feel panic grip him.
“Wha – no, Hancock wait!” he exclaimed – maybe a bit too loudly. But Carlos
quickly stepped forward and grabbed Hancock’s sleeve, but not his arm as he
didn’t want to accidentally hurt the ghoul. But he held the shirt tightly, wanting
desperately for the other not to run away. “Han, wait, please! I’m sorry! I’m
sorry, I’m sorry – Please, don’t leave! I’m not telling you to go away! Please,
I’m sorry!” Fuck, fuck, fuck! He
messed up! He messed up badly!

This was how it ends – Hancock wasn’t going to trust him
anymore. He’d be too nice to say so, but things would change too quickly. They
wouldn’t try to open up to each other anymore, and they’d grow apart and Carlos
would have to leave so Hancock could go on with his life and then Carlos would be
alone, and then he’d get caught and ripped apart by super mutants and never be
heard from again, and Hancock would wonder about him but wouldn’t go out
looking for him, and… and… and–!

selfmedicatingmayor:

Carlos wasn’t really sure if Hancock was being wholly
truthful, with regards to how other people reacted. You can’t just… not care about that sort of thing,
right? And he was so anxious and frightened, worried that Carlos might do the
same thing, that it made Carlos believe that other people’s reactions affected
him. At least a bit.

But Carlos had to be honest. He didn’t want to be – GOD! He wished he could just ignore it
right off the bat and pretend he wasn’t weirded out by this – but he cared too
much about Hancock to try to keep him uninformed about what was really going on
in his own head.

“Hancock… I care about you a lot,” he said softly. “And I
don’t want this to get between us.” He took a deep breath – but he tried to keep
it short so Hancock didn’t have too much time to fret. “This’ll take me a bit
to get used to,” he admitted slowly. “I’m so sorry about that – I mean, I want
to be okay with this right away, but… it’s… tough. I just… I just need to
remind myself that you’re not in pain or… anything. It’s not your fault at all –
I’m going to do my damnest to get over thi- I mean, over myself. O- okay? I’m – I’m so sorry if that’s not what you want to
hear, b-but I wanna be honest and I don’t wanna make you feel bad or anything
and it’s not your fault and I’m sorry I’m just having trouble with this and –
and- shit – fuck, I should stop
talking, I’m so sorry!”

Carlos wasn’t sure what happened at the end. Something in
his emotions just… lurched and he started to babble and he couldn’t stop it and…
God damn, he hoped Hancock wasn’t getting anxious from him.

selfmedicatingmayor:

For a second Carlos was just confused and he didn’t know
what Hancock was talking about. But then he understood and he was… well, he
was a little shocked. “Hancock… this might be news to you, but I don’t think
about sex all the time,” Carlos said, offering a little smile to show that he
was trying to be at least a bit humorous.

He squeezed Hancock’s hands, but then
relaxed his grip so that the other could take them back if he wanted to. “I’m
sorry you’re scared. Do… you wanna wait to do this? Bathing together I mean?”

selfmedicatingmayor:

Carlos’ gaze jumped up to Hancock’s face and he was confused. “What – No! No, of course not!” he said, maybe a bit loudly. He walked up to the ghoul and reached to take his hands. “No, Han – I’m not going to run away. This – admittedly it’ll take a bit to get used to this, but I’m not going to be a jackass and just leave you hanging. Okay? I promise, I’m not going to do that to you.”

selfmedicatingmayor:

At first, Carlos wasn’t sure of what he was looking at – his
brain just didn’t recognize it. But when he took a moment to actually think
about it, he did get a sort of lurch in the pit of his stomach and, for a
horrifying second, he thought something was going to come up.

But nothing did. He swallowed thickly to reassure himself
and looked, reminding himself that the scarring looked very old and it happened
a long time ago.

“Does… I’m sorry, but… does it still hurt?” he asked meekly.

Starways to Hell

ravagewhistler:

Carlos yelped softly and put a hand up to shield his line of
vision. He looked down into the water he was sitting in, waiting until Yondu
either left to deal with the mess himself or sorted it out and sat back down.

“Just changin’ some opinions, Captain!” Tullk shouted out. “Respectfully
speakin’!”

Starways to Hell

ravagewhistler:

Carlos yelped. “Yondu – I, no! We’re not gonna do this here! Maybe it’s an Earth thing, but I’m
not gonna!” He giggled and smacked at Yondu’s arms again.

⊙⊙

welcometocecilpalmer:

Carlos snuggled right into him and pressed
kisses into Cecil’s shoulder. Snuggling up all warm and clean and just
surrounded everywhere by loving arms.
Not that Carlos was asking for it, but if he were to die in this moment… this
was exactly where he wanted to be.