i think i cried more last night then i have in.. what feels like years at this point -late night anon
       
   

((I’m so sorry that you went through that. It sounds like some part of you, while ashamed at what happened, wants to talk it out with someone in your family.

Make sure you eat something and drink something. I really think you should talk to your Mom about what happened. Not necessarily about feelings you had about her, but to give her some information about what’s going on in your head. Write it into a letter if speaking is too uncomfortable and you’re worried about not telling all the information that you want to.

I’m not making you do that by the way, I just really think you should talk to her.

In the meantime, what I also suggest is looking up ‘try not to smile challenges’. Not the ‘try not to laugh’ because it might be too much, but a try not to smile. And While watching one, don’t feel bad about smiling. If you do it, I want you to tell yourself that despite everything, you can still smile.

Please take care of yourself. I know and understand that this was hard and painful, but it’s okay. And I don’t want you to feel bad about what you did. Try to understand that when you’re having an attack like this, your brain can’t function rationally. It’s all emotion. You just need to bandage up and keep going. It’s like a paddle-ball – sometimes you’ll miss the ball, but you keep going.

I hope this helps, and I sincerely hope you feel better soon okay? Like I said, drink something and eat something to help your body feel better too.