the-perfect-scientist :

Carlos was starving. How long had he been working? He had no
idea – he was getting a little delirious and he realized he’d been cleaning the
same part for a good thirty minutes. The generator was almost entirely clean so
he’d had to have been there for hours. He needed to eat something and he spent
a good while trying to convince himself to leave.

His caps were still in the Statehouse, so Carlos had to go
back. Just something small, he told himself; maybe a carrot or a single
mutfruit. Just enough to hold him over so he could come back… if he managed to
avoid Hancock. Or if Hancock didn’t even want to see him; that’d be… easier. In
only a couple ways.

Finally Carlos put down the cloth and started for the door.
He built up enough motivation to reach the door and open it without any pause
and he was back out in Goodneighbor. However, he jumped when he noticed a
figure leaning against the wall of the warehouse. Fahrenheit was glaring at him
under the fringe of her hair. Was that a glare? She always looked like she was
glaring.

She didn’t say a word, just looked at him. It took Carlos a
few moments, trying to convince himself the she wasn’t going to hurt him
(despite the look she gave him) and he finally turned away and started walking
down the alley. He felt her gaze heavy and piercing on his back, and when he
reached the stoop he was almost shaking.

Carlos almost jumped inside the Statehouse and he shut the
door behind him. A Neighborhood Watchman shifted his gun when Carlos came in,
but he seemed to relax almost immediately. Carlos looked at his feet and
started up the spiral staircase, trying not to make any more noise than
necessary.

Once Carlos made it up the staircase, a Watchman stepped up to block him from going anywhere but the lounge, gesturing to the scientist to enter without saying anything else. Whether or not Hancock had shown his distress, they’d been with him long enough to know when the ghoul was having a rough time and all the signs were there, it would be easier to simply shove Carlos in the right direction than wait for things to resolve on their own.

Inside, Hancock was curled up on the couch, half-conscious with tear-stained cheeks, the box of cereal he’d been eating laying open on the floor with several pieces scattered about. The place was littered in spent needles and canisters of jet, along with several empty bottles and the mayor himself looked disheveled and exhausted.

Carlos was startled and, and for an irrational moment he thought he might be pushed down the stairs. But, again, it was an irrational thought and Carlos felt guilty about thinking it. Upon realizing where he was being directed though, his stomach felt like it was sucked into a small, localized black hole.

Hancock probably told the Watch that he wanted to talk to Carlos. This was it. He was going to tell Carlos that this wasn’t working. Because it wasn’t – Carlos knew that. He wouldn’t blame Hancock for ending it… though it didn’t change the fact that this was going to hurt so much.

Carlos resigned himself. This was it, and there wasn’t anything he could do about it but… go and face the music. He could do that. He had to. Just stand there and agree with Hancock when he said that it was over.

He had expected, when he walked in, to see Hancock on the couch. Maybe playing with a jet canister or even his knife. Collected, calm, and serious. He didn’t expect to see the prone form on the couch with the mess of drug paraphernalia scattered around him. Carlos was confused at first, but as he cautiously stepped closer and started to put together what all the mess meant – that, plus the image of Hancock lying down motionless – Carlos’ mind jumped to conclusions and he suddenly panicked.

“HANCOCK!!” he screamed and he rushed forward. Carlos used his boot to sweep away the needles scattered dangerously at the front of the couch and he crouched down to take Hancock’s face in his hands and examine it. “Hancock! Han, can you hear me??”

Food for the Soul (closed w/ selfmedicatingmayor)

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist :

“I can take it out now,” Carlos said. “The rest of the terminal will work – it’ll just give you a warning letting you know that the drive isn’t attached. But if you just don’t put any holotapes in then it won’t run.”

“Really? Taking it out ain’t gonna make the rest of it worse? How does that work? I’m sorry for all the questions, I just….. don’t really get any of this, y’know? I’m tryin’ to learn though.”

“No, actually, a holotape driver isn’t necessary,” Carlos explained. “A lot of models come with them, but you don‘t necessarily need one for every-day function. It’ll just give you an error message that you can dismiss and continue on with the memory that’s already on the terminal.”

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist :

Carlos woke from a dreamless sleep. He didn’t immediately feel any better. In fact, he was very disappointed that what happened last night hadn’t just been a dream. Dammit…

He started to sit up from his little ‘nest’. But suddenly, Carlos froze with a small yelp when his back ached in protest at the movement. Well, that wasn’t going to go away any time soon. His day was just getting better already. He finished sitting up and started to look for his Pip-Boy. But it wasn’t there.

Oh no… he left it in the Statehouse, didn’t he? He couldn’t go back for it. He wasn’t ready to face Hancock. He… he couldn’t. Hancock would see him and he might want to talk about it and Carlos… he just wasn’t ready for it. He didn’t know if he’d ever be ready. Right now, he was willing to leave his Pip-Boy out of his reach because he was just… he was scared. Besides, who said Hancock even wanted to see him after what happened? Carlos didn’t even want to be with himself.

He needed to work. He needed to do something – feel productive. Show that he was still somewhat useful, despite… despite how hard he fell last night. He got up and ignored the twinge of hunger in his stomach as he started to take apart one of the generators he had to work on and clean the parts.

After a while–– Hancock couldn’t be sure how long it really was with the combination of jet and med-x in his system–– the ghoul picked himself up, staggering over to the pantry to dig out a box of sugar bombs and bring it back to the couch. He shed his signature coat again, tossing it carelessly over the back of the couch, along with the vest, and laying back on the cushions to take up his post again. His eyes were blurry, struggling to focus on the stain on the ceiling he’d been staring at and his movements robotic as he slowly picked cereal out of the box, one piece at a time to eat. He’d be there for the foreseeable future, huffing more jet whenever he happened to remember why he’d come in in the first place and picking at his cereal until Carlos came back or he lost consciousness again, whichever came first.

Carlos was starving. How long had he been working? He had no
idea – he was getting a little delirious and he realized he’d been cleaning the
same part for a good thirty minutes. The generator was almost entirely clean so
he’d had to have been there for hours. He needed to eat something and he spent
a good while trying to convince himself to leave.

His caps were still in the Statehouse, so Carlos had to go
back. Just something small, he told himself; maybe a carrot or a single
mutfruit. Just enough to hold him over so he could come back… if he managed to
avoid Hancock. Or if Hancock didn’t even want to see him; that’d be… easier. In
only a couple ways.

Finally Carlos put down the cloth and started for the door.
He built up enough motivation to reach the door and open it without any pause
and he was back out in Goodneighbor. However, he jumped when he noticed a
figure leaning against the wall of the warehouse. Fahrenheit was glaring at him
under the fringe of her hair. Was that a glare? She always looked like she was
glaring.

She didn’t say a word, just looked at him. It took Carlos a
few moments, trying to convince himself the she wasn’t going to hurt him
(despite the look she gave him) and he finally turned away and started walking
down the alley. He felt her gaze heavy and piercing on his back, and when he
reached the stoop he was almost shaking.

Carlos almost jumped inside the Statehouse and he shut the
door behind him. A Neighborhood Watchman shifted his gun when Carlos came in,
but he seemed to relax almost immediately. Carlos looked at his feet and
started up the spiral staircase, trying not to make any more noise than
necessary.

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist:

Carlos made it to the workshop without incident. He supposed
everybody knew Hancock’s business was Hancock’s business. Once inside he
gathered up the blankets and some of the work cloths and started to make a sort
of bed in the corner. He’d been meaning to get a cot in there for when he
worked longer nights… he wished he’d done it already, but this would have to
do.

Carlos lay down and curled in on himself underneath his
labcoat. He spent a long time awake, just angry and unhappy with himself. There
were so many things he should have done… He should have done so much better.

Outside he could hear someone shouting. Some drifter being
thrown out of the Third Rail by Ham. Even further away there was gunfire –
probably from the Supermutant encampment. Carlos didn’t know when he fell asleep.

When Hancock woke the next morning, stiff and sore, he was disappointed to find he was still alone. Despite everything, how badly he’d screwed up, how upset Carlos had seemed, a part of him had still expected the other man to return. With a shaky sigh, the ghoul picked himself up of the floor, straightening his clothes out and composing himself enough to walk across the hall without drawing too much attention.

Back in his lounge, Hancock ordered the Watchmen outside not to let anyone but the scientist in then shut the doors behind him. Back in the privacy of his room–– and the bulk of his stash–– the ghoul broke into the chems again, dosing himself with a cocktail of drugs to keep his nerves at bay for a while then taking up a spot on the couch to sit and stare at the ceiling until Carlos came back….. if he came back.

Carlos woke from a dreamless sleep. He didn’t immediately feel any better. In fact, he was very disappointed that what happened last night hadn’t just been a dream. Dammit…

He started to sit up from his little ‘nest’. But suddenly, Carlos froze with a small yelp when his back ached in protest at the movement. Well, that wasn’t going to go away any time soon. His day was just getting better already. He finished sitting up and started to look for his Pip-Boy. But it wasn’t there.

Oh no… he left it in the Statehouse, didn’t he? He couldn’t go back for it. He wasn’t ready to face Hancock. He… he couldn’t. Hancock would see him and he might want to talk about it and Carlos… he just wasn’t ready for it. He didn’t know if he’d ever be ready. Right now, he was willing to leave his Pip-Boy out of his reach because he was just… he was scared. Besides, who said Hancock even wanted to see him after what happened? Carlos didn’t even want to be with himself.

He needed to work. He needed to do something – feel productive. Show that he was still somewhat useful, despite… despite how hard he fell last night. He got up and ignored the twinge of hunger in his stomach as he started to take apart one of the generators he had to work on and clean the parts.

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist :

Carlos quickly wiped at his face before he started to mop up the wet grease on his hand. His hands were shaking and he was trying not to appear too jittery. But with the time it was taking to clean his hands (and make sure Hancock’s beloved coat didn’t accidentally get stained) Carlos was starting to realize how it looked.

“I”m not trying to blow you off,” Carlos told Hancock quickly, still furiously wiping his hands clean. “I am legitimately worried about getting grease on your coat. Because, Han – I want you to know…“ Carlos glanced down at his hands. Eh… good enough.

He tossed the rag down before grabbing Hancock’s head and pulling him in for a hard, but adoring, kiss.

Hancock’s smile was wavering, even as Carlos spoke, he wasn’t entirely sure where this was going and he was afraid of what might happen when he finished. He was still stiff when the other pulled him in, taking a moment to process before responding, slowly relaxing and tentatively reaching out to place his hands on the other man’s hips as they kissed.

Carlos sighed softly through his nose and his hold on
Hancock softened a bit. He hummed, one of his hands sliding down to rest on
Hancock’s shoulder. He adored this man so much. He couldn’t really believe that
Hancock thought he was worth being devoted to, but… well, here they were.
Carlos was just going to have to learn to believe it, won’t he?

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist:

The key wasn’t in the lounge area. Where the hell could it
be? Carlos was getting frustrated as he opened drawers only to find drug paraphernalia.
He was getting frustrated with himself and he coughed, trying to suppress
another fit of sobbing. Carlos sniffed.

This was fine. It would be fine. He could just head to the
attic and find a nice corner. Maybe the other drifters wouldn’t bother him…

No, that was stupid and he knew it. Any sign of weakness
shown to complete strangers and he was opening himself up to getting assaulted and
mugged – even if he didn’t have anything on him. As much as he thought he
deserved it… some part of him knew that he’d regret it in the future. Either
that, or it was scared. Yeah, sounded about right… too scared to face
consequences.

A fleeting thought went through Carlos’ head and, following
it, he patted at his pockets. He realized that below the lump the underwear
made in his pocket he felt something hard. Carlos scoffed, unhappy with the
discovery, and reached in to pull out the key. It was in his pocket the whole
damn time. He must’ve looked like a pathetic idiot with how he’d been looking for it.

Carlos groaned and scrubbed at his face hard with his hands.
Keep it together… just keep it together until he could find safety in his… the workshop. He’d deal with everything
tomorrow. He left the room and went down the spiral staircase. He realized that
Neighborhood Watch was looking at him, but he kept his head down and willed for
them not to talk to him or ask him anything.

Once it became obvious Carlos wasn’t coming back, Hancock gave in to his urges completely, going through every chem stashed in his room that he thought might help him calm down, along with a second bottle of whiskey. Eventually, the ghoul ended up slumped in the corner, head hanging low and bottle still in hand as he drifted off.

Carlos made it to the workshop without incident. He supposed
everybody knew Hancock’s business was Hancock’s business. Once inside he
gathered up the blankets and some of the work cloths and started to make a sort
of bed in the corner. He’d been meaning to get a cot in there for when he
worked longer nights… he wished he’d done it already, but this would have to
do.

Carlos lay down and curled in on himself underneath his
labcoat. He spent a long time awake, just angry and unhappy with himself. There
were so many things he should have done… He should have done so much better.

Outside he could hear someone shouting. Some drifter being
thrown out of the Third Rail by Ham. Even further away there was gunfire –
probably from the Supermutant encampment. Carlos didn’t know when he fell asleep.

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist:

Keep reading

Keep reading

The key wasn’t in the lounge area. Where the hell could it
be? Carlos was getting frustrated as he opened drawers only to find drug paraphernalia.
He was getting frustrated with himself and he coughed, trying to suppress
another fit of sobbing. Carlos sniffed.

This was fine. It would be fine. He could just head to the
attic and find a nice corner. Maybe the other drifters wouldn’t bother him…

No, that was stupid and he knew it. Any sign of weakness
shown to complete strangers and he was opening himself up to getting assaulted and
mugged – even if he didn’t have anything on him. As much as he thought he
deserved it… some part of him knew that he’d regret it in the future. Either
that, or it was scared. Yeah, sounded about right… too scared to face
consequences.

A fleeting thought went through Carlos’ head and, following
it, he patted at his pockets. He realized that below the lump the underwear
made in his pocket he felt something hard. Carlos scoffed, unhappy with the
discovery, and reached in to pull out the key. It was in his pocket the whole
damn time. He must’ve looked like a pathetic idiot with how he’d been looking for it.

Carlos groaned and scrubbed at his face hard with his hands.
Keep it together… just keep it together until he could find safety in his… the workshop. He’d deal with everything
tomorrow. He left the room and went down the spiral staircase. He realized that
Neighborhood Watch was looking at him, but he kept his head down and willed for
them not to talk to him or ask him anything.

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist :

Keep reading

Keep reading

Carlos spent so much time just sitting in the tub. As soon
as the door was shut he dropped his face into his knees and just cried. However
he still tried to keep quiet – he didn’t want his voice to carry through the
entire Statehouse because it would just make it awkward for everyone. Why was he even here? He should have just perished with the
rest of his team all those months ago. He didn’t really have a choice on the
matter, but maybe things would have been better. Hancock deserved someone
better – someone more worth opening up to because Carlos just fucked it all up.

It felt like hours and Carlos was already feeling exhausted.
He needed to get out of the tub – he couldn’t just sleep there. And Hancock
would need to use the bathroom at some point. Slowly, almost like he was a
Protectron, Carlos got himself out of the tub. Nobody was there to watch him,
but he still kept his head down and dried himself off as well as he could with
almost numb motions.

He hung the towel back up and drained the tub. He got his
clothes back on – the dirty ones – and gathered up the underwear he grabbed for
both of them to shove in his pocket.

Carlos quickly rubbed at his face and took a long,
shuddering breath before he opened the door and stepping outside. He almost
expected Hancock to be standing outside or in the lounge waiting for him, but
Carlos halfway relieved when he didn’t see him. But he was also half-way
disappointed.

Probably for the
better, he told himself as he looked for the key to the warehouse. No, it
wasn’t exactly his own place – nothing out here was – but it was away from
Hancock, and hopefully someplace that the other man wouldn’t need to go to any time soon. Carlos had a few blankets down there in his workspace… he could spend the night. Maybe a night alone would help him function in the morning. Where was that damn key?

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist :

Keep reading

Keep reading

Yes, this was a
bad idea. Carlos couldn’t believe he’d have thought that this would have gone
smoothly. God, he was such an idiot. He should’ve known better. He didn’t know this would happen, but he should have
known better!

Carlos fought not to flinch again under Hancock’s touch. He
needed to be alone… he needed to be alone. Silently, he nodded to Hancock,
still unable to see anything through his tears, much less look at the ghoul.

A Holiday Surprise (closed w/ selfmedicatingmayor)

selfmedicatingmayor:

the-perfect-scientist :

Carlos bit his lip to keep from smiling too goofily. “I… thanks, Hancock. So are you. I wanted to make sure I got you something cool, that nobody else had… well, other than me, I guess. Something that you’d really appreciate. And you like playing the games, so… yeah.” He knew he was babbling a bit, but he couldn’t help it. He was just so relieved and happy that Hancock liked the present. He was honestly a little worried that Hancock’s not growing up with a holiday spirit would damper it. But it seemed like everything was alright.

“I do appreciate it, sunshine.” He purred and leaned in to press a kiss to Carlos’ cheek. It was still a little weird to him to be celebrating….. well anything, honestly, but Carlos’ cheer certainly helped and there was no way in hell the ghoul was going to do something to screw this all up. “Is–– I’m sorry, but is this…. what the holiday is normally like? I always thought it was more uh…. over the top, I like this better.”

Carlos shrugged slightly. “Well… honestly, I’m not sure. I know that pre-war it was everywhere and there were huge celebrations about it, but I lived in a vault. We did have a vault-wide party sometimes, unless food was short. But, uh… my dad always told us that it was family that was important. And… making sure that we appreciated each other.” He laughed softly. “God, that sounds so corny…”