“Yeah, boo hoo, ‘ya had a $&#% day, just heard about Kate Spade, I get it. My day ain’t exactly been a walk in Pee Wee Herman’s shoes, either. First ‘ya get swindled out of a deal, a fat paycheck, after a night of Netflix and kill with Tori Spelling’s crapshoot of a twin, then what? The &$#@%/ wuss up an’ books it to Tijuana.”
The reminder of what transpired hours ago left Deadpool once again seeing red. And with a click of the Desert Eagle, he fires a few rounds of bullets into the lone glass that’d been left behind on the counter of the bar.
“When I get my hands on ‘im, I’m gonna rip his innards right out of his @&$ and use it as a jump rope.”
Carlos jumped in shock and he stared incredulously at the masked man. “Dude, what the f@$*??“ he asked. “I don’t know who Kate Spade is!” Who the hell – who let this maniac into the bar?? “And I don’t know who would even want to walk a day in Peewee Herman’s shoes.”
Carlos swallowed and scoot his chair away, turning toward the other man defensively. He tried to relax – he couldn’t freak out.
“Look, uh, I’m sorry you’ve had a sh*t day yourself,” he said as carefully as he could. “Uh, but I don’t think property-damage is the answer. I mean, heh… what could a poor little glass have done?” Has someone called the police? He hoped so.
“Holy – Maria, no!“ Carlos exclaimed. “Your heart’s going to explode!”
“It’s empty now Carlos. It’s not coming back now.” She told him. “Plus, you should have seen what we did in college. I swear I heard colors the time we brewed coffee with monster energy then dumped two 5 hour energies in it.”
“Oh my god, how are you even alive?” Carlos asked. “I have doctorates and I didn’t do that! I did stuff the old fashioned way – staying up until life became meaningless and all I am is listless and inside of me is dead.” He said the last part with such a serious face, one wouldn’t know if he were joking or if he was actually serious.
“I mean, I’m dead inside too, Carlos. You aren’t special,” Maria snorted. “Also, I have no idea how I’m still alive. Maybe Satan isn’t ready to give up his throne yet?”
“Maria, Hell is a concept made up by the Chatholic church to try to control people,” Carlos said. “The only place you’ll go to is probably what people call ‘purgatory’.”
“Holy – Maria, no!“ Carlos exclaimed. “Your heart’s going to explode!”
“It’s empty now Carlos. It’s not coming back now.” She told him. “Plus, you should have seen what we did in college. I swear I heard colors the time we brewed coffee with monster energy then dumped two 5 hour energies in it.”
“Oh my god, how are you even alive?” Carlos asked. “I have doctorates and I didn’t do that! I did stuff the old fashioned way – staying up until life became meaningless and all I am is listless and inside of me is dead.” He said the last part with such a serious face, one wouldn’t know if he were joking or if he was actually serious.
*he chuckles* you don’t have to worry about me resting, i won’t be ju- falling off any roofs anytime soon..!
Or doing much of anything else, right? Gosh, after you get that cast off there’ll be physical therapy to worry about. I should probably read up on that…
physical therapy? what? i’ve broken alot of bones before but i’ve never gone to ‘physical therapy’.. *he glanced away*
Well, it’s just to help you build up your muscle again so you don’t break or strain so soon. I’ll help, don’t worry. You, uh… I did notice that you already do get in a lot of ‘accidents’, Max, so I”m not surprised you’ve broken something before.
less then half if them were actual accidents thanks Carlos *he smiles alightly*
You’re welcome, Max. Again, if you need anything… just let me know. Even if it’s help opening a soda.
*he chuckles* alright, i’ll try to find you the next time i get some soda
Heheh. I’m serious though, Max. Anything you need, okay? I don’t want you to strain yourself.
*he nods* alright Carlos, i get it..
Ah… right. Okay. Um… so, I hope you have a quick recovery.
*he chuckles* you don’t have to worry about me resting, i won’t be ju- falling off any roofs anytime soon..!
Or doing much of anything else, right? Gosh, after you get that cast off there’ll be physical therapy to worry about. I should probably read up on that…
physical therapy? what? i’ve broken alot of bones before but i’ve never gone to ‘physical therapy’.. *he glanced away*
Well, it’s just to help you build up your muscle again so you don’t break or strain so soon. I’ll help, don’t worry. You, uh… I did notice that you already do get in a lot of ‘accidents’, Max, so I”m not surprised you’ve broken something before.
less then half if them were actual accidents thanks Carlos *he smiles alightly*
You’re welcome, Max. Again, if you need anything… just let me know. Even if it’s help opening a soda.
*he chuckles* alright, i’ll try to find you the next time i get some soda
Heheh. I’m serious though, Max. Anything you need, okay? I don’t want you to strain yourself.
The Perfect Scientist 